时间是一个有趣的东西。 Time is a funny thing.
-我小时候…——一岁。 - When I was a kid... - One.
-．．．日子一去不复返。两岁。 -...the days lasted forever. -Two.
躲!3岁。 -Hide, hide, hide! -Three.
-但是这些年…——等等!在这里。 - But the years... - Wait! Over here.
-．．．他们走得太快了-四岁。 -...well, they went by so fast. -Four.
五岁。六岁。蒂姆,不许偷看。 -Five. Six. -Tim, no peeking.
是的,没有偷看。 Yeah, no peeking.
-在你知道之前…- 7岁。 - Before you know it... - Seven.
-．．．你们都长大了。八岁。 -...you're all grown-up. -Eight.
-这甚至发生在我身上。九岁。 -It even happened to me. -Nine.
九岁半。十岁! Nine and a half. Ten!
准备好了没有，我来了。 Ready or not, here I come.
我叫蒂姆，这个…这是我剩下的故事。 My name's Tim, and this... well, this is the rest of my story.
——逃命去吧! --Run for your lives!
爸爸,不公平。你偷偷看了。 No fair, Dad. You peeked.
-他们叫我全职爸爸，意思是…-我们走! -They call me a stay-at-home dad, which means...-Let's go!
．．.我几乎不能呆在家里。 ...I hardly get to stay at home.
系好安全带,邓普顿。 Buckle up, Templetons.
准备好了吗? Ready?
好了。——走! -Set. -Go!
现在，有些人可能会说我的想象力仍然过于丰富，但当一个父亲是世界上最酷的工作。 Now, some might say I still have an overactive imagination, but being a dad is the coolest job in the world.
一堆很酷的工作，真的。 Bunch of cool jobs, really.
有时我是一个赛车手。 Sometimes I'm a race car driver.
哇!手情圣安德列蒂合影! Whoo! Daddy-o Andretti!
耶,邓普顿! Yay, Templetons!
有时候我是全县最棒的厨师每顿饭都是我做的。 Well, and then sometimes I'm the best darn cook in the county and I deal out every meal.
-来吧，爸，打我 - Come on, Pa, hit me.
——蒂娜。 - Tina.
呼,小狗!然后，众议院又赢了。 Whew, doggie! And the house wins again.
——耶!啊! - Yay! Woo-hoo!
或者是外科医生，如果需要的话。 Or a surgeon, if need be.
叉勺。叉勺。 -Spork. -Spork.
抹刀。抹刀。 -Spatula. -Spatula.
给我的生灵以生命吧! Give my creature life!
她还活着! She's alive!
我们有好有坏。 We have our ups, and we have our downs.
——不,不,不。看。看。 --No, no, no. Look. Look.
小羊没事。看到了吗?耶! -Lamb Lamb's okay. See? -Yay!
但我们总是团结在一起。 But we always stick together.
我的妻子,卡罗。——它是一个奇迹! -My wife, Carol. -It's a miracle!
她是家里的经济支柱。 She's the breadwinner of the family.
——谢谢。-你知道人们常说: --Thank you. - You know what they say:
-“都是为了钱。” - "It's all about the dough."
没有我的丈夫，我不可能做到。 And I couldn't have done it without my husband.
他确实能应付自如。 He really rose to the occasion.
-我可以做酵母。——是的,妈妈! - It's the yeast I can do. --Yeah, Mama!
她也挣钱养家，而我则照看我们的新宝宝蒂娜。 She brings home the bacon, too, while I keep an eye on our new baby, Tina.
但有时候，感觉她在盯着我。 But sometimes, feels like she's keeping an eye on me.
——塔比瑟……-谢谢! -And Tabitha... -Thank you!
．．.我们的二年级学生刚被镇上最好的学校录取了。 ...our little second-grader who just got accepted - into the best school in town.
耶,塔比瑟! Yay, Tabitha!
我们感到骄傲。 We're so proud.
我还和那帮老家伙保持联系。 I still keep in touch with the old gang, too.
信不信由你，金博现在是市长了。 Believe it or not, Jimbo is mayor now.
——饼干!-当然了，他的妻子斯塔西才是这次行动的幕后主使。 - Cookie! - Of course, his wife, Staci, is the real brains behind the operation.
哟,吉米!-三胞胎…- *了……* - *了……＊ - Yo, Jimbo! - Now, the Triplets... -* Busted... * -* Busted... *
- *了。＊ - * Busted. *
是啊，它们变化不大。 Yeah, they haven't changed much.
至于我的小弟弟，泰德，他长大后成了老板。 And as for my baby brother, Ted, well, he grew up to be the boss, all right.
-他太忙了，我们几乎见不到他了。但是，嘿，他总是记得在特殊的场合送不合适的贵重礼物。 - He's so busy we hardly see him anymore. - --But, hey, he always remembers to send inappropriately lavish gifts - on special occasions.
——OMG !泰德叔叔是最好的! - OMG! Uncle Ted is the best!
总之，我的生活很完美。 All in all, my life is pretty perfect.
但这一切即将改变。 But all that was about to change.
天啊。 Good heavens.
我要救你! I'll save you!
——哈! - Ha!
谢谢你,宝贝。 Thanks, babe.
保持冷静,塔比瑟。 Stay calm, Tabitha.
我来找你了。 I'm coming for you.
我要把你从冒泡的熔岩中救出来! I'm gonna save you from the bubbling lava!
爸爸，你在干什么? Dad, what are you doing?
电子战,恶心。它无处不在。 Ew, gross. It went everywhere.
拜托，这是末日糖果火山! Come on, this is the candy volcano of doom!
你以前很喜欢的。 You used to love it.
但我在努力做作业，否则我就完了。 But I'm trying to do my homework, or I'm doomed.
哦。 Oh.
因为如果说我学到了什么，那就是你只有一次童年。 Because if there's one thing I've learned, you're only a kid once.
一旦你长大了，就再也回不去了。 Once you grow up, you can never go back.
Ee…! Ee...!
哦,不。 Oh, no.
晚安霍金博士 Good night, Dr. Hawking.
碳，硼，铍，锂，氦，氢 Carbon, boron, beryllium, lithium, helium, hydrogen.
我搞定了。 Nailed it.
砰，沙卡拉卡。 Boom shakalaka.
“四。”天啊。 "Carry the four." Gosh.
-你好啊，塔比瑟。 - Hey there, Tabitha.
这是《晚安秀》。 It's The Good Night Show.
在卧室里直播，由爸爸和妈妈主演。 Live from your bedroom, starring Dad and Mom.
-还有特别嘉宾，宝贝蒂娜 - And special guest, baby Tina.
晚安，小蒂娜。Mwah ! Good night, little Tina. Mwah!
你给我回来。 Come back here, you.
-晚上好,妈妈。-Mwah ! -Good night, Mom. -Mwah!
晚安,甜心。妈妈会亲你的。 Good night, sweetheart. Mama's gonna kiss you.
-妈妈会亲你的。 - Mama gonna kiss you.
晚安歌 * Good night song *
-*和你爸爸…* - ? -* With your dad... * -What?
什么?该唱晚安歌了。 What? It's time for your good-night song.
哦,不,谢谢。 Oh, no, thanks.
我在听白噪音! I'm listening to white noise!
帮助我入睡! Helps me fall asleep!
你觉得让我帮你排练节日庆典怎么样? Hey, what would you say to me helping you rehearse for the holiday pageant?
——是的!对吧? --Yes! Right?
我可以和你一起去学校，你可以把你所有的朋友聚在一起，我们可以一起排练，之后去吃冰淇淋。 I can come to school with you, and you can get all your friends together, and we can rehearse together, go get some ice cream after.
-治疗。-不!你不能这么做。 -My treat. -No! You can't do that.
嗯,责任问题。 Um, liability issues.
是这整件事。 It's this whole thing.
哦。对，对。 Oh. Right, right.
对。 Right.
哇。你最喜欢的睡前故事是什么? Whoa. How about your favorite bedtime story?
你知道的，关于…泰德叔叔是个会说话的神奇婴儿。 You know, the one about... Uncle Ted was a magical talking baby.
有个装满小狗的火箭-你拯救了世界。 There was a rocket full of puppies, - and you saved the world.
这是个好故事，不是吗? It was a good story, wasn't it?
嗯，这也说不通啊。 Well, it didn't really make a lot of sense.
笑话不错，对吧? The jokes were good, right?
恩。 Mm.
-好的。嗯…-爸爸。 -Okay. Um... -Dad.
我明天的日程安排得很紧。 My schedule is brutal tomorrow.
是的。我的日程安排也很紧。 Yeah. My schedule's pretty brutal, too.
哦，别忘了小羊羔。 Oh, don't forget Lamb Lamb.
晚安，小羊羔。 Good night, Lamb Lamb.
晚安，泰德叔叔。 Good night, Uncle Ted.
我希望长大后能像你一样成功。 I hope to grow up and be a success, just like you.
也许我们很快就能见到你。 Maybe we'll see you soon.
晚安,大比大。 Good night, Tabitha.
你不觉得我现在太老了吗? Don't you think I'm a little old for that now?
呃,好吧。 Uh, okay.
我觉得我们都该长大了。 I think it's time we both grow up.
我期待着在早餐桌上和你打招呼。 I look forward to greeting you at the breakfast table.
甜蜜的梦想。 Sweet dreams.
嗯。 Hmm.
时间都到哪里去了? Where has the time gone?
我怎么知道? How should I know?
——等等。我看到了光。 - Wait, wait. I see light.
你，给我让开。 You, oh, out of my way.
终于。 At long last.
自由的气息。 The sweet breath of freedom.
Wizzie吗? Wizzie?
你呢，这是哪个世纪? You there, what century is this?
放开我，邪恶的食人魔! Unhand me, vile ogre!
不，不，不。Wizzie,是我。 No, no, no, no. Wizzie, it's me.
——这是蒂姆。 - It's Tim.
真的是你吗? Is it really you?
更接近。 Come closer.
让我看看你的脸。 Let me see your face.
近了。 Closer.
更近。 Closer still.
哦,盖。 Oh, Timothy.
这是你。 It is you.
嘿!这是为什么? Hey! What was that for?
你把我扔进永恒的黑暗中破坏了我的昼夜节律。 You cast me into eternal darkness and wreaked havoc on my circadian rhythms.
对不起,Wizzie。 I'm sorry, Wizzie.
嘿，不过你看起来很棒。 Hey, but you look great, though.
你是说除了手臂。 Except for the arm, you mean.
我都没注意到。 I didn't even notice.
-你认为它。-我是说，我注意到了，因为我…你显然没有胳膊。我…你绝不会这样对待小羊羔的。 -You thought it. -I mean, I noticed it, 'cause I... you obviously don't have an arm. I-I... You would never treat Lamb Lamb this way.
好吧,我……我把她给了我女儿，塔比瑟。 Well, I... I gave her to my daughter, Tabitha.
你有继承人了吗，提摩太? You have produced an heir, Timothy?
实际上,两个。 Two, actually.
两个?让钟声敲响吧! Two? Let the bells ring!
-不,不,不。Wizzie,停下来。-是的!是的! -No, no, no. Wizzie, stop. -Yes! Yes!
-Wizzie,嘘!安静,安静。-这是庆祝的时刻! -Wizzie, shh! Quiet, quiet. -It's a time for celebration!
不,不,不。现在不是庆祝的时候。 No, no, no. It's not the time for celebration.
-Wizzie,嘘。保持安静。-什么?它是什么? -Wizzie, shh. Be quiet. -What? What is it?
-怎么了，蒂姆?我不知道。 -What is it, Tim? -I don't know.
——我想我只是现在不太想庆祝。 --I guess I'm just not feeling very celebratory right now.
哦? Oh?
塔比瑟。 Tabitha.
天啊，巫师，她长得真快。 Man, Wizzie, she's growing up so fast.
她好像已经不需要我了。 It's like she doesn't even need me anymore.
是的，首先，他们开始减少和你在一起的时间。 Yes, first, they start spending less time with you.
恩。 Mm.
然后他们就不再向你寻求建议了。 Then they stop coming to you for advice.
完全正确。 Exactly.
很快，他们就会把你视为理所当然。 Soon, they take you for granted.
我猜。 I guess.
-那就打断你的胳膊。-什么? -Then break your arm. -What?
然后把你塞进盒子里! Then stuff you into a box!
好吧。Wizzie,你……你没有帮助。 Okay. Wizzie, you're... you're not helping.
好吧,我只是……恐怕塔比瑟和我越来越疏远了，就像…就像我对我弟弟那样 Okay, I'm just... I'm afraid Tabitha and I are growing apart, like... like I did with my brother.
哦。 Oh.
我以为我们有的是时间。 I thought we had all the time in the world.
但你不能让时光倒流，对吧? But you can't turn back time, can you?
你竟敢质疑我的力量! How dare you question my power!
词背。回头。-又来了。 -Turn back. Turn back. -Oh, here we go.
-哦，伟大的车轮…——等等。 - Oh, great wheel of li... - Wait.
——你听到了吗? --Did you hear that?
不要滥用贪睡按钮! Never abuse the snooze button!
听起来像是从婴儿房传来的。 It sounds like it's coming from the baby's room.
它是什么?一个黑夜的生物? What is it? A creature of the night?
女巫吗?这是地狱之犬的叫声吗? Witches? Is it the baying of the hounds of hell?
Wizzie ! Wizzie!
不去,蒂姆! Don't go, Tim!
我可以让时光倒流，回到黄金时代，那时只有你和我。 I can turn back time-- to the golden years, when it was just you and me.
我的好。 My good arm.
不要开门。 Don't open the door.
记得最后一次! Remember last time!
如果你想打电话，请挂断再打。 If you would like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
如果你需要帮助，请挂机，然后拨总机。 If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.
谢谢你！ Thank you.
喂? Hello?
如果你想打电话-请挂断再打。——啊。只是我的电话。 If you would like to make a call, -please hang up and try again. -Ah. Just my phone.
振作起来，伙计。 Get it together, man.
蒂娜，你这个小小偷…晚安。 Oh, Tina, you little klepto... Nighty night.
…疯子! ...maniac!
哇! Whoa!
嗨,爸爸。 Hi, Daddy.
T-Tabitha吗?是你吗? T-Tabitha? Is that you?
你真该看看自己的表情。 You should've seen your face.
哦,这是无价的。 Oh, it's priceless.
你……你……你,你…… You're... You... You-you...
你可以说话吗? You-you can talk?
是的。我在做家族生意。 Yep. I'm in the family business.
这是夹上去的领带。 It's a clip-on tie.
你看，爸爸，宝宝公司更像是我…哦。 You see, Daddy, BabyCorp is more of what I... Oops.
爸爸，爸爸，进来。你能听到我说话吗? Daddy, Daddy, come in. Can you hear me?
-爸爸，你听到了吗? - Daddy, do you read me?
爸爸，我举起了几根手指? Daddy, how many fingers am I holding up?
星期四吗? Thursday?
我应该警告你的。 I should've given you a warning.
我忘了你是个老人了。 I forgot you were an old man.
等等，等等。 Wait, wait.
从BabyCorp -你是吗?-是的。 -You're from BabyCorp? -Yes.
对我来说，BabyCorp更多的是一种副业。-嗯。 BabyCorp is more of what I call -a side hustle for me. -Uh-huh.
重点是坦普尔顿家的事我全押上了。 The point is I'm all in on the Templetons.
——去,邓普顿!-哦!好吧。 -Go, Templetons! -Oh! Okay.
你们真会照顾孩子。 You guys really know how to baby a baby.
-我是说，太不可思议了。——哦,哦。 - I mean, it's incredible. - Oh, oh.
不是的，都是五星级的。 Not that's it's all five-star.
-我不得不说，你有很多问题。-当然。是的。 -I have to say, you got a lot of issues. -Sure. Yeah.
我们稍后会讨论这个。 We'll talk about that later.
哦,我的天啊。我真不敢相信。 Oh, my gosh. I can't believe this.
想去把妈妈吓个半死吗? Hey, want to go scare the crap out of Mom?
-爸爸，集中精神。——哦。 - Daddy, please stay focused. - Oh.
对,对,对。 Right, right, right.
婴儿公司出现了危机。 There's a crisis at BabyCorp.
这次又怎么了? What is it this time?
小猫? Kittens?
不。这一次，情况更糟。 No. This time, it's even worse.
比小猫无稽之谈?-是的。 -Worse than kittens? -Yes.
所以我才自愿参加这个秘密任务。——妈妈。 That's why I volunteered for - this supersecret assignment. - Mommy.
哦，我想帮忙。你想让我怎么做? Ooh, I want to help. What-what do you want me to do?
这就对了，爸爸。 That's the spirit, Daddy.
-你正是我需要的人。-是的! -You are exactly who I need. -Yes!
去找泰德叔叔。 To get Uncle Ted.
不。什么? No. What?
你的脸怎么了? What-What's with the face?
爸爸，宝宝公司不能再等了。 Daddy, BabyCorp can't wait any longer.
所有的压力都在我身上，爸。 All the pressure's on me, Pop.
当我自愿参加这项工作时，我以为会很容易。 When I volunteered for this gig, I thought it would be easy.
但你们俩从来没见过面。 But you two never see each other.
它是如此悲伤。 It's so sad.
这就像,”负。课后见我。” It's like, "F-minus. See me after class."
悲伤?嗯,是的,也许。 Sad? Uh, yeah, maybe.
一点。我不知道。 A little. I don't know.
你忘记给他打电话了吗? Did you forget to call him?
我注意到你有时有点心不在焉。 I noticed you can be a little absentminded.
对不起,什么? Sorry, what?
只是你有拖延症。 It's just that you tend to procrastinate.
-你得让他来这里过节。- -不，我不是…不，我现在不会给他打电话。 - You have to get him here for the holidays. - - No, I'm not... No, I'm not gonna call him right now.
-爸爸，不能，永远不能。——没有。-你们俩吵架了还是怎么了? - Daddy, can't never could. - No. - Did you two have a fight or something?
-不。-但你生他的气了? -No. -But you're mad at him?
——停止。它是复杂的。 - Stop that. It's complicated.
——为什么?需要我帮你使用手机吗?- -不，我不需要帮助用我的…——好的。是什么问题? - Why? Do you need help using your phone? - - No, I don't need help using my... - - Okay. What's the problem?
这个问题是什么?跟我说话。 What's the issue? Talk to me.
-没必要，好吗? - There's no point, okay?
我打电话给他。我邀请他。他从未出现过。 I call him. I invite him. He never shows up.
他总是要参加工作会议，出差或者电话会议。 He's always got a work meeting or a business trip or a conference call.
他只关心工作。 All he cares about is work.
但过了一段时间，你…你只是停止尝试。 But after a while, you... you just stop trying.
-他还是你哥哥 - He's still your brother.
你是合作伙伴。 You were partners.
-是啊，我猜有时候你…-你成长，也成长。 - Yeah, I guess sometimes you just... - you grow up and grow apart.
爸爸，不要说不。 Daddy, don't say no.
如果每个人都说不呢? What if everybody said no?
没有什么会发生。 Nothing would happen.
没有任何东西能够起飞。 Nothing would get off the ground.
你每天醒来都要说"好，好，好" You got to wake up every day and you got to say, "Yes, yes, yes!"
让我吃惊。说是的。 Surprise me. Say yes.
这真令人失望。 This is really disappointing.
-现在我很生气!——晚了。 -And now I'm getting mad! -It's late.
我们明天再解决，好吗? We can work on this tomorrow, okay?
哦。Whoopsie。你的小马掉下来了。 Oh. Whoopsie. Your little horsey fell off.
再多一天也不会有坏处，对吧? Another day won't hurt, right?
晚安,亲爱的。 Good night, sweetie.
-…霍尔西掉了。 - ...horsey fell off.
塔比瑟? Tabitha?
嗯? Huh?
哦,别担心。我得到了它。 Uh, don't worry. I got it.
——她在哪里呢?她在哪里呢? --Where is she? Where is she?
——是谁?什么?-我已经尽快赶来了。 -Where's who? What? -I came as fast as I could.
泰德?-我取消了所有的会议。 -Ted? -I canceled all my meetings.
-你在这里做什么?-你叫什么? - What are you doing here? - Why are you yelling?
——塔比瑟?塔比瑟? -Where's Tabitha? -Tabitha?
-她在哪里，蒂姆?——泰德。 - Where is she, Tim? - Ted.
泰德叔叔，你来了!你真的在这里。 Uncle Ted, you're here! You're really here.
-哪只手臂?左边或右边?嗯? -Which arm is it? Left or right? -Huh?
-是腓骨吗?跟我说话。-啊。 -Is it your fibula? Talk to me. -Whoa.
——良好的扩张。开放。 - Good dilation. Open up.
——“啊。”你还好吗?-你在干什么? -Say, "Ah." Are you okay? -Wh-What are you doing?
你看起来好。-啊。 -You look okay. -Whoa.
别担心。我很好，泰德叔叔。 Don't worry. I'm fine, Uncle Ted.
这是我的女孩。呜呼。 -That's my girl. -Woo-hoo.
什么风把你吹来了? Uh, wh-what brings you into town?
塔比瑟从她的小马上摔下来了。 Well, Tabitha fell off her pony.
她吗?她吗? -She did? -She did?
我做了吗? I did?
-蒂姆给我留了语音留言。他吗? -Tim left me a voice mail. -He did?
我吗?你所做的。 -I did? -You did.
你好。这是你的弟弟。 Hello. This is your brother.
的帮助。塔比瑟从马上摔了下来。 Help. Tabitha fell off horsey.
晚安,亲爱的。 Good night, sweetie.
这真让人不安。 Well, that was unsettling.
我发誓我没留言。 I swear I didn't leave that message.
——……目的。 --On... purpose.
我…Butt-dialed吗? I... Butt-dialed?
用我的屁股。 With my butt.
当我说梦话的时候。 While I was talking in my sleep.
我有时会这样做。 I do that sometimes.
你sleep-butt-dialed我吗? You sleep-butt-dialed me?
-用屁股。 - With my butt.
我就知道肯定有个合理的解释。 I knew there must be a perfectly logical explanation.
就是这样。 And there it is.
嗯。-重要的是你在这里。 Hmm. -All that matters is that you're here.
啊!耶! Woo-hoo! Yay!
——当然。嗯,现在。 - Absolutely. Uh, for now.
泰德叔叔，请留下来过圣诞节。请。 Uncle Ted, please stay for Christmas. Please.
对不起,亲爱的。我不能在25号过圣诞节。 Sorry, sweetie. I can't do Christmas on the 25th.
但是，泰德叔叔，我很想你。 But, Uncle Ted, I missed you so much.
我好想你。 I missed you so much.
-我好想你。…哇! -I missed you so much. -Mm... wah!
你不觉得我现在太老了吗? Don't you think I'm a little old for that now?
我能去厨房跟你谈谈吗? Can I talk to you in the kitchen?
一个人。 Alone.
宝贝,蒂姆? The baby, Tim?
她是从那里被派来的。 She's been sent from up there.
楼上吗?——是对的。BabyCorp。 -Upstairs? -That's right. BabyCorp.
你是说那个语音信箱是某种求助电话。 So you're saying the voice mail was some kind of call for help.
是的!不。 Yes! No.
她来自一个由婴儿经营的秘密公司。 She comes from a secret corporation run by babies.
蒂姆，我会告诉你一个医生的名字。 Tim, I'm gonna give you the name of a doctor.
罗伊Federman。告诉他是我派你来的，好吗? Roy Federman. Just tell him I sent you, okay?
他们在说什么? What are they saying?
我们应该给他们点私人空间。 We should give them some privacy.
在这儿你走。-哦。谢谢。 -Here you go. -Ooh. Thanks.
我不是疯了! I'm not crazy!
你只是不记得了。告诉他,蒂娜。 You just don't remember. Tell him, Tina.
——他……我…-她不能说话，蒂姆。 - He... I... - She can't talk, Tim.
——不要打断。 - Stop interrupting.
——打断?-我什么都没听到。 - Interrupting what? - I don't hear anything.
除了你那讨厌的声音。你听到这个消息。 Except your obnoxious voice. You hear that.
我有一副好嗓子。 I have a beautiful voice.
——好。 - Fine.
我可以证明我说的一切都是真的。 I can prove that everything I'm saying is real.
-哦,是吗?——是的! - Oh, yeah? - Yeah!
吮吸它,特德。 Suck it, Ted.
你说什么? I beg your pardon?
你,吸。 You, suck.
不,不,蒂姆。你吸。 No, no, Tim. You suck.
是时候去买棵圣诞树了。 Time to go buy a Christmas tree.
但我们已经有圣诞树了。 But we already have a Christmas tree.
-不,我们没有。不,我们没有。是的,我们做的。是的,我们做的。 -No, we don't. No, we don't. -Yes, we do. Yes, we do.
去死吧，去死吧，去死吧，去死吧，去死吧。 Suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it.
-别让我看你!原谅我。 -Get that pacie out of my face! -Excuse me.
我不愿意打断你们，但我可以提个建议吗? I hate to interrupt, but may I make a suggestion?
你们俩怎么不去死? Why don't you both suck it?
——哈! - Ha!
她可以说话。——很多。 -She can talk. -A lot.
系好安全带,男孩。 Buckle up, boys.
-孩子在船上! - Baby on board!
-这就是我说的!——啊! - That's what I'm talking about! - Woo-hoo!
是啊!啊! Yeah! Woo-hoo!
——哇。 - Wow.
我到家了。 I'm home.
是的。看到了吗? Yeah. See?
这都是真实的。 It's all real.
哇。 Whoa.
是我吗? Is that me?
如果你想要得到别人的称赞，你已经得到了! If you're fishing for a compliment, you caught one!
你是这里的传奇人物。 You are a legend in this joint.
一座雕像? A statue?
是我单枪匹马拯救了公司。 Well, I did single-handedly save the company.
Double-handedly。 Double-handedly.
对吧?我们是合作伙伴。 Right? We were partners.
真的吗? Really?
我没看到你的雕像。 I don't see your statue.
我仍然爱你，爸爸。 I still love you, Daddy.
他们把头的大小搞错了。 They got the head size right.
听我的，你要想出人头地，就得有进取心。 Take it from me, you have to be aggressive if you want to get ahead.
爬上公司的阶梯——直到你成为最后一个孩子。 Climb that corporate ladder - until you're the last baby Wow.
事实上，我优先考虑良好的工作和生活的平衡以及一个积极的环境，这样我的想法才能得到重视。 Actually, I prioritize a good work-life balance and a positive environment where my ideas are valued.
哦,你是认真的。 Oh, you're serious.
你真有趣，泰德叔叔。 You're funny, Uncle Ted.
我想知道为什么他们没有在你的档案里提到这一点。 I wonder why they didn't mention that in your file.
我的文件吗? My file?
-你看到我的档案了? - You saw my file?
是的。-上面说什么了? -Yep. -What does it say?
它说明了很多。 It says a lot.
-这里是危机中心。-啊。哇。 -This is the Crisis Center. -Whoa. Wow.
我们在这里监控世界各地对婴儿的所有威胁。 This is where we monitor all threats to babies around the world.
和夏威夷。 And Hawaii.
这太酷了。这太酷了。 This is so cool. This is so cool.
我是哥斯拉。 I'm Godzilla.
“啊，快逃命去吧!”快逃命吧!” "Oh, run for your lives! Run for your lives!"
-我们为什么带他来?-爸爸，快下来。 -Why did we bring him? -Daddy, get down from there.
哦。-我们可以等没人看的时候再玩。 -Aw. -We can play on it later when no one is looking.
什么是危机?-是的。 -What's the crisis? -Yeah.
我们开始吧。什么危机，亲爱的? Here we go. What's the crisis, sweetie?
生锈的,滚。 Rusty, roll it.
他的新。 He's new.
想象一下，小外科医生。 Just imagine, baby surgeons.
——哦。 --Uh-oh.
或婴儿宇航员。 Or baby astronauts.
吃水浅的、能浮起的浮动。 Floaty, floaty, float.
是的，总有一天婴儿会统治世界。 Yes, babies are gonna run the world one day.
这一天来得比你想象的要早。 And that day is coming sooner than you think.
你好。我是埃尔文·阿姆斯特朗博士，橡子高级儿童中心的创始人。 Hello. My name is Dr. Erwin Armstrong, founder of The Acorn Center for Advanced Childhood.
等一下，那是…大比大的学校。 Wait a minute, that's... that's Tabitha's school.
在这个中心，我们相信婴儿是终极的学习机器。 Here at the center, we believe babies are the ultimate learning machines.
对吧，小内森? Isn't that right, little Nathan?
——是的!好吧。 - Yeah! Okay.
他们应该利用宝贵的时间更快地发展，更努力地推动。 They should use their precious time to develop faster, push harder.
——嗯。当然，父母的出发点是好的，但他们不是专家。 - Hmm. - - Parents, they have the best intentions, of course, but they're not experts.
毕竟，唯一阻碍孩子成长的是……——你。——你! After all, the only thing holding your child back is... - you. - You!
这就解释了为什么塔比瑟一直远离我。 This explains why Tabitha's been pulling away from me.
-是学校。——每个人,波。 - It's the school. - Everybody, wave.
——再见,妈妈。——再见,妈妈! - Bye, Mommy. - Bye, Mommy!
再见,爸爸。再见,爸爸! -Bye, Daddy. -Bye, Daddy!
再会。 Sayonara.
现在，在过去的六个月里，这些学校如雨后春笋般出现在世界各地。 Now, in the past six months, these schools have been popping up all over the world.
呃，有什么问题吗? Uh, so what's the problem?
学校才是问题所在。 The school is the problem.
是的。学校都是恶的。 Yeah. School is evil.
不，爸爸，不是所有的学校都是邪恶的。 No, Daddy, not all schools are evil.
-就这一个，好吗?-好的。 -It's just this one, okay? -Okay.
如果阿姆斯特朗的哲学继续传播下去，童年可能就结束了。 If Armstrong's philosophy keeps spreading, it could be the end of childhood.
不。 No.
童年是我一生中最糟糕的三年。 Childhood was the worst three years of my life.
这是如此悲伤。 That's so sad.
你可能只是做得不对。 You probably just didn't do it right.
嗯?哦。 -Huh? -Aw.
但幸运的是，你可以重来一次。 But luckily, you get a do-over.
第二次机会。 A second chance.
BabyCorp公司开发了一种新的超级婴儿配方奶粉，可以把成年人变回婴儿。我们有樱桃汁、葡萄汁、橙汁和酸橙汁。 BabyCorp has developed a new super-duper baby formula - that can turn a grown-up back into a baby. - We have it in cherry, grape, orange and lime.
——真的吗?-等等，等等，等等。 -For real? -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
-你想让我变成婴儿?-嘿，这是你最擅长的。 -You want me to be a baby? -Hey, it's what you do best.
这样你就可以潜入学校查出阿姆斯特朗博士到底想干什么。 So you can infiltrate the school and find out what Dr. Armstrong is really up to.
剩下的就交给BabyCorp了。 BabyCorp will take care of the rest.
这是完美的伪装。 It's the perfect disguise.
而且只持续了48个小时。 And it only lasts 48 teensy-weensy hours.
我也参与了这次任务。 Oh, I am in on the mission.
对不起,老爸。…噢。 -Sorry, Pops. -Ow.
-这不是你的任务。哦。 -It's not your mission. -Aw.
可能会导致流口水，胡言乱语，情绪爆发，大笑，失禁，大腿胖乎乎的? may cause drooling, babbling, "emotional outbursts, fits of laughter, loss of bowel control, chubby thighs"?
我想我健身房里的人会吃这个。 I think some guys at my gym take this stuff.
我的手发短信! My texting hand!
-即使那是你女儿的学校。-看起来不公平，不是吗? - Even though it is your daughter's school. - Doesn't seem fair, does it?
爸爸,没有。请停止。 Daddy, no. Please stop.
哇! Whoa!
什么?它真的有用。 What? It actually works.
它是我的! It's mine!
-我更擅长做这种事!-哦! -I'm better with this kind of thing! -Oh!
那是什么东西，海鸥群吗? And what kind of thing is that, Flock of Seagulls?
资料!明白了! -Everything! -Gotcha!
你可能会很情绪化，有一些情绪波动。 You might feel very emotional, have some mood swings.
哦! Oh!
嘿! Hey!
哎哟。这是一个尴尬的阶段。 Ouch. There's the awkward stage.
现在茶已经热了，康妮。 Now, the tea's hot, Connie.
你总是想当英雄，不是吗? You always have to be the hero, don't you?
这是什么意思? What's that supposed to mean?
从来没见过他…突然，他带着一匹小马出现了。 Never see him... All of a sudden, he shows up with a pony.
你只是嫉妒，头盔头。 You're just jealous, helmet head.
她是我的女儿! She's my daughter!
她是我的侄女。 She's my niece.
你要加奶油或糖吗? --Do you want cream or sugar?
我总是成功的那个。 I was always the successful one.
妈妈说不许在家里乱跑。 Mommy says no running in the house.
恩。 Mm.
把瓶子给我，鲻鱼。 Hand over the bottle, mullet.
你不能拥抱钱，你知道的。 --You can't hug money, you know.
但你可以的，蒂姆。你可以。 But you can, Tim. You can.
男人。我说的对吗? Men. Am I right?
这不是个人。 It's not personal.
它的业务,莱斯利。 It's business, Leslie.
这是我的私事，琳赛。 Well, it's personal to me, Lindsey.
停，停，停，停，停!喔,喔,喔! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Ow, ow, ow!
对不起,康妮。我不得不长话短说。 I'm sorry, Connie. I have to cut this short.
明天，我们来谈谈你的问题。 Tomorrow, we'll talk about your problems.
好的,超时!这已经够了! Okay, time-out! This has gone far enough!
嘿。我们回家。 Hey. We're home.
我们得到了另一棵树。 And we got another tree.
一个真正的人。 A real one.
嗯,现在在楼上。 Um, upstairs now.
快，快，快，快，快，快。 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
——推动它。不,不,拉。 - Push it. No, no, pull.
-快，快，快，快。推动它。 -Go, go, go, go, go. -Push it up.
——拉。不,好吧。 --Pull. No, okay.
——右边。-为什么我有重头? -To the right. -How come I have the heavy end?
因为你年轻又强壮，亲爱的。 Because you're young and strong, honey.
更多。 Little bit more.
——我先! - Me first!
- - - - - -来吧。——离开。 - Come on. - Get off.
蒂姆?泰德?-妈妈。 -Tim? Ted? -Mom.
绳。绳。 Get the cord. Get the cord.
拿着绳子，拿着绳子，拿着绳子! Get the cord, get the cord, get the cord!
你不可能消失。 You just can't disappear.
你需要一个借口。 You need a cover story.
——噢!-哦,是的。 - Ow! - Oh, right.
我的软肋。 My soft spot.
你们在哪里? Where are you guys?
告诉她你在收拾东西。 Uh, uh, tell her you're packing.
我们在楼上收拾东西。 We're upstairs, uh, packing.
——包装?为了什么? - Packing? For what?
哦。你要去参加兄弟情谊之旅。 Ooh. You're going on a brother bonding trip.
-我们要去兄弟情谊之旅。…噢! -We're going on a brother bonding trip. -Ow!
现在? Now?
但是，蒂姆，你的父母明天要来。 But, Tim, your parents are coming tomorrow.
他们可以帮忙。 They can help out.
是的，他们可以帮忙。 Yeah, they could help out.
什么……不，你不能把我一个人留给你父母。 What... No, you can't leave me alone with your parents.
——哦,蒂娜! --Oh, Tina!
你在干什么? What are you doing?
好吧，知道吗?你要进婴儿监狱了。 All right, you know what? You're going to baby jail.
-哦，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不!塔比瑟! -Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! -Tabitha!
-亲爱的，对不起。-帮个小忙。 - Oh, honey, I'm sorry. - A little help here.
亲爱的，举起来。举起来。 Honey, hold it up. Hold it up.
这是泰德·坦普尔顿，一个男人。 This is Ted Templeton, a man.
你可以走了。我有紧急的家庭事务。 You can go ahead and take off. I have urgent family business.
-向右，亲爱的。-是的，我有家人。 - To the right, honey. - Yes, I have a family.
-蒂姆，我上来了。 - Tim, I'm coming up there.
是的，我们得谈谈。 Yeah, we need to talk.
嘿,妈妈? Hey, Mom?
哦!蒂娜! Oh! Tina!
把它放下。把它放下。把它放下。 Put that down. Put that down. Put that down.
——下来。把它放下。蒂娜! -Put that down. Put that down. -Tina!
-把它放下!回到这里! - Put that down! Get back here!
蒂娜,停止! Tina, stop!
你是怎么了? What has gotten into you?
-我们该走了! - Time for us to go!
——什么?现在?-是的。 - What? Now? - Yeah.
-直升机并排停。再见! -My helicopter's double-parked. -Bye!
-等等，等等，等等。这么快?-哦,不。 -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So soon? -Oh, no.
什么……他们真的就这么走了吗? What... Did they really just leave?
是的。 Yep.
——隐藏! - Hide!
我得减肥了。 I got to lose this baby fat.
蒂娜!你有什么问题? Tina! What is your problem?
你明天醒来要乖乖的，蒂娜。 Now, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and be good, Tina.
不再有恶魔了，宝贝。 No more devil baby.
交易吗? Deal?
——好的。 --Okay.
电子战。 Ew.
谢谢你们能来，女士们。 --Thanks so much for coming in, ladies.
你想吃点水果吗? Would you like some fruit?
噢! Mm. Ow!
是什么……嘿! What was... Hey!
我们能开始了吗? Uh, can we get on with this?
我想念我的牙齿。 I miss my teeth.
我已经决定谁去执行任务了。 I've decided who's going on the mission.
谢谢你！我接受。 Thank you. I accept.
这两个你。 Both of you.
-是的!-不。 -Yes! -No.
宝宝公司想重新组队，对吧? BabyCorp wants to get the team back together, huh?
不。 No.
他们认为这是个糟糕的主意。 They think that's a terrible idea.
他们当然会。 Of course they do.
好吧，我是老板，苹果酱。 Well, I'm the boss, applesauce.
我觉得你们俩在一起比分开要好。 And I think you two are better together than you are apart.
我是一个人工作，至少不是和他一起。 Well, I work alone-- or at least not with him.
嘿。“团队”中没有“我”。 Hey. There's no "I" in "team."
事实上，team这个词里也没有U，但有一个M-E。“-T-E-A-M…但是团队合作似乎不起作用。 Actually, there's no "U" in "team," either, -but there is an "M-E. " -T-E-A-M... But teamwork doesn't seem work.
啊。如果你想把事情做好，就得自己动手。 Ah. If you want something done right, do it yourself.
-我们都在一起。-人不为己。 -We're all in it together. -Every man for himself.
1是最孤独的数字。 One is the loneliest number.
-是的。我们的人! -The ayes have it. -We the people!
啊哈! Aha!
哦。抱歉。 Oh. So sorry.
好吧。晚安，各位。 Okay. Good night.
唷。 Whew.
看来我们只能把你的大雕像熔掉然后把它变成参与的奖品了。 Guess we'll just have to melt down your big old statue and turn it into participation trophies.
求你了，别，别伤害我的雕像。 Please, no, don't hurt my statue.
我们有秘密情报阿姆斯特朗博士每天早上11点15分离开办公室。 Now, we have secret intel that Dr. Armstrong leaves his office every morning at 11:15.
你得溜进去，装上这些监控装置，然后向我汇报。 You need to sneak in there, plant these surveillance devices, and report back to me.
天啊，这太酷了。 Oh, man, this is so cool.
测试。 Testing.
*黑夜里的陌生人…* * Strangers in the night... *
我已经安排了一辆校车早上8点整到这里! Now, I've arranged for a school bus to be here at 8:00 a.m. sharp!
-谢谢，康妮。——晚安。 - Thank you, Connie. - Nighty night.
不要迟到。 Do not be late.
明白了。 Got it.
Easy-breezy taco-peasy,男孩。 Easy-breezy, taco-peasy, boys.
我们去睡觉吧! Let's get some sleep!
嘿，怎么了? Hey, what's the matter?
没什么。 It's nothing.
亲爱的，别担心。 Oh, sweetie, don't worry.
我相信你爸爸会及时回来看你参加选美的。 I'm sure your dad will be back in time to see you in the pageant.
没关系。 That's okay.
——什么?-你不想让他来吗? - What? - Don't you want him to come?
——我猜。-你当然知道。 - I guess. - Of course you do.
现在，继续睡觉。 Now, go back to sleep.
晚安,妈妈。 Good night, Mom.
晚安,亲爱的。 Good night, sweetie.
你不想让他来吗? Don't you want him to come?
我猜。 I guess.
你不觉得我现在太老了吗? Don't you think I'm a little old for that now?
我觉得我们都该长大了。 I think it's time we both grow up.
蒂莫西·莱斯利·邓普顿的审判现在开始。 The trial of Timothy Leslie Templeton is now in session.
——哈!莱斯利。 - Ha! Leslie.
审判?等等,什么…罪名是什么? Trial? Wait, what... what are the charges?
欺诈行为。 Fraud.
声称自己是世界上最好的爸爸。 Claiming to be the world's best dad.
-但我从没说过…展览。 -But I never said... -Exhibit A.
-得了吧。那是一份礼物。 - Oh, come on. That was a gift.
我建议你让你的律师来谈。 I suggest you let your attorney do the talking.
哦,不。 Oh, no.
在我那个年代，你得挣个这样的孩子。 Back in my day, you had to earn one of these babies.
——爸爸,什么?我没有……他最好的朋友是一个闹钟。 - Dad, what? I did not... His best friend was an alarm clock.
妈妈。 Mom.
他打断了我的胳膊。 He broke my arm.
不,我没有!是我哥哥。 No, I didn't! It was my brother.
异议,法官大人。 Objection, Your Honor.
持续。 Sustained.
我们陪审团认为被告…一个失败! We the jury find the defendant... A failure!
塔比瑟，你能帮帮我吗? Tabitha, will you please help me out?
哇! Whoa!
爸爸，家庭作业，太多了。 Dad, the homework, it's just too much.
-啊!塔比瑟! -Whoa! -Tabitha!
——时间到了。 - Time's up.
等。不!保存我,爸爸!救我! -Wait. No! -Save me, Daddy! Save me!
——哦,男人。这是疯狂的。 - Oh, man. That was crazy.
——我们睡过头了!我们睡过头了吗? - We overslept! We overslept?
我们睡过头了。-醒醒，小半身人! -We overslept. -Wake up, little halflings!
——醒来!现在是哪一年? - Wake up! What year is it?
哦,不。 Oh, no.
这很糟。不。 This is bad. No.
不!不。 No! No.
起床了。 Get up.
起床了。我们得走了。 Get up. We got to go.
来吧。我们要迟到了…哦! Come on. We're gonna be late for... Oh!
我会发邮件给你。 I'm gonna email it to you.
这是怎么呢 What's going on?
啊，我忘了把Wizzie设置为夏时制! Ah, I forgot to set Wizzie for daylight savings!
-什么? !-天亮了，蒂姆。 -What?! -Daylight can't be saved, Tim.
我得去拿我们要种的植物和虫子。 Oh, I got to get the plant and the bug we got to plant.
抓住。我们得走了。不要恐慌。不要恐慌。 -Grab whatever. We got to go. -Don't panic. Do not panic.
-噢。祝成功,男孩。 - Ow. - Godspeed, boys.
让我们滚。 Let's roll.
Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa…! Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa...!
——Upsies。 --Upsies.
我需要upsies…!-哦! -I need upsies...! -Oh!
——穿好衣服。 - Get dressed.
你对我做了什么?! What have you done to me?!
不,真的吗?什么，我们要去航海吗? No, really? What, are we going sailing?
哦,不。不，不，它要走了。 Oh, no. No, no, it's leaving.
等等,不,不。停! Wait, no, no. Stop!
停止,停止,停止。回来! Stop, stop, stop. Come back!
喂! ! Ahoy!
回来! Come back!
好,朋友。 Great, matey.
我们现在该怎么办? What are we gonna do now?
哦,不! Oh, no!
宝贝，我高贵的骏马。 Precious, my noble steed.
我们上学的第一天不能迟到。 We must not be late for our first day of school.
哦,恶心。 Oh, gross.
——嗯? - Huh?
塔利霍，宝贝! Tallyho, Precious!
这匹小马讨厌我。哦! This pony hates me. Oh!
不是她恨你，蒂姆。 It's not that she hates you, Tim.
她就是不尊重你。 She just doesn't respect you.
去了!去了! Go left! Go left!
我要去导航说的地方。 I'm gonna go where navigation says.
向左转。 Turn left.
谢谢你,导航。 Thank you, navigation.
——哇!——右转。 - Whoa! - Turn right.
——对不起。 - Sorry.
——向左转。-继续当前路线。 - Turn left. - Proceed on the current route.
Yeehaw ! Yeehaw!
重新计算。 Recalculating.
抓紧你的枪套。 Hold on to your holster.
——Hyah ! - Hyah!
哦,不。这是卡罗! Oh, no. It's Carol!
不回答它。 Don't answer it.
-嗨。——哦,蒂姆。 - Hi. - Oh, Tim.
你们的友谊之旅怎么样? How's your bonding trip?
嗯…哇! Uh... Whoa!
哇。慢下来。 Whoa. Slow down.
如何……是……你的…结合旅行吗?啊!哇。 How... is... your... -bonding trip? -Aah! Whoa.
你在这里! You're here!
-哦,不。-我是说，我希望你在这里。 - Oh, no. - I mean, um, I wish you were here.
哦，我们也想你。 Oh, we miss you, too.
我们不,女孩? Don't we, girls?
我们,呃…我们在重新启动我们的关系，恢复我们曾经的亲密感。 We're, uh... We're, uh, rebooting our relationship and, uh, restoring the closeness that we once felt.
-太棒了。-我们得走了。 - That's so great. - We've got to go.
你在哪里? Where are you?
-嗯，曲棍球比赛。-嘿! -Uh, a hockey game. -Hey!
他射门，他得分! He shoots, he scores!
他成绩!他成绩! He scores! He scores!
女士们先生们，他得分了! Ladies and gentlemen, he scores!
- *了……* - *了……＊ -* Busted... * -* Busted... *
- *了。＊ - * Busted. *
那是警察吗? Is that the police?
不，不是警察。 Uh, no, not the police.
这是,呃…这是一个曲棍球闹钟。 It's, uh... it's a hockey alarm.
更快,蒂姆。 Faster, Tim.
我才不要回监狱去! I ain't going back to the clink!
我只是想提醒你塔比瑟的选美比赛就在明晚。 Now, I just wanted to remind you that Tabitha's pageant is tomorrow night.
你必须在场。 You have to be there.
我会以某种形式出现的。 Uh, I will be there in one shape or another.
你承诺吗?我的承诺。 -You promise? -I promise.
那泰德呢? And what about Ted?
节日快乐,警察。 Happy holidays, coppers.
你不会活捉我的，明白吗? You're never gonna take me alive, see?
嗯,他很忙。 Uh, he's busy.
你在干什么?这是警察。 What are you doing? It's the cops.
——对不起,警官。 --Sorry, Officers.
圣诞老人给每个人都准备了礼物。 Santa's got something for everybody.
对不起。 Sorry.
重新计算。 Recalculating.
哦,我的上帝!它是如此真实! Oh, my God! It's so real!
它是如此真实!它是如此真实! It's so real! It's so real!
——蒂姆? - Tim?
重新计算。 Recalculating.
向左! Left! Left! Left!
重新计算。 Recalculating.
向右! Right, right, right, right, right!
重新计算。 Recalculating.
我们期待已久的时刻到了! And now the moment we've all waited for!
按当前路线前进。 Proceed on the current route.
——看,蒂姆? --See, Tim?
——总是信任…神圣的…——蒂姆? --Always trust... Holy... - Tim?
呃,卡罗尔? Uh, Carol?
你要分手了。我要失去你了。 You're breaking up. I'm losing you.
不，亲爱的，我听得很清楚。 No, honey, I can hear you fine.
-选美比赛见。得走了。再见。-好的。 -See you at the pageant. Got to go. Bye. -Okay.
——哇!——对不起。 - Whoa! - Sorry.
哦，不，不，不，不，不。 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
——太真实了!太真实了! --It's too real! It's too real!
塔利霍，宝贝! Tallyho, Precious!
不，不，不，理…哇，哇，哇，哇! No, no, no, tally... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
——蒂娜!——蒂娜! - Tina! - Tina!
——哇! - Whoa!
——啊! - Woo-hoo!
哇! Whoa!
树! Tree!
你已经到达目的地了。 You've arrived at your destination.
-还剩一分钟 - And with a minute to spare.
哦。嗯。 Oh. Huh.
我会给他们寄一张支票。 I'll send them a check.
哦，真有趣。 Oh, that was fun.
你做到了。 You did it.
我们做到了。 We did it.
我想是的。 I guess we did.
我说的是我和珍爱。 I was talking about me and Precious.
-哦。-对吗，宝贝? -Oh. -Isn't that right, baby?
是的。正确的。 Yeah. Right.
——下来! - Get down!
哇。这地方看起来甚至很邪恶。 Whoa. This place even looks evil.
这只是一所学校。 It's just a school.
你反应过度了。 You're overreacting.
BabyCorp也是如此。 And so is BabyCorp.
不，我跟你说，这所学校让塔比瑟压力很大。 No, I'm telling you, this school is stressing Tabitha out.
塔比瑟能搞定。 Tabitha can handle it.
她真是一个模子刻出来的。 She's a real chip off the old block.
-等等，那个街区是谁?-我。 -Wait, who's the block? -I'm the block.
好吧，你不能成为阻碍。我是块。 Well, you can't be the block. I'm the block.
然后开始表现得像块石头。 Then start acting like a block.
这是什么意思?我是块。 Wh-What does that mean? I'm the block.
-我一直是个拦路虎。-是的。甚至没有关闭。 -I've always been the block. -Yeah. Not even close.
我所做的就是阻挡。 All I do is block.
我早上醒来，我就会阻塞。 I wake up in the morning, I block.
——我去睡觉，堵塞。 --I go to sleep, blocking.
-我。蒂姆,足够了。 -I'm the block. -Tim, enough.
-我。-不,你不是!停止它! -I'm the block. -No, you're not! Stop it!
——嘘。 - Shh.
甜的。 Sweet.
笨蛋。 Suckers.
孩子们只能越过这个点。-嘿。 Children only beyond this point. -Hey.
请勿在隔离区哭泣。 No crying is permitted in the separation zone.
好吧，看来我们得分头行动了。 Okay, looks like we got to split up.
好。我可以休息一下。 Good. I could use a break.
——再见,妈妈。-好的，再见，亲爱的。 - Bye, Mom. - All right, bye, honey.
塔比瑟。 There's Tabitha.
放学后见。-好的。 -I'll see you after school. -Okay.
显然，没有A Apparently, there's no "A"
在“团队合作”。 in "teamwork," either.
好了，我们走吧。 All right, let's boogie.
没有那么快。 Not so fast.
我是蓝色的。你是黄色的。 I'm blue. You're yellow.
你在那边的小火车里。 You're over there in the choo-choo.
哦。里面全是婴儿。 Aw. It's full of babies.
是吗?我没有注意到。 Is it? I didn't notice.
只是开玩笑。它是滑稽的。 Just kidding. It's hilarious.
嗯,等。你的领带是弯曲的。 Uh, wait. Your tie's crooked.
——好的,蒂姆,焦点。 --Okay, Tim, focus.
我们11点15分在阿姆斯特朗办公室外见面。 We'll meet outside Armstrong's office at 11:15.
我们溜进去，装上窃听器。 We'll sneak in, and we'll plant the bugs.
你关注吗? Are you focused?
嗨,什么…-我很专注，好吧。-不,没有。 Hey, what the... -Oh, I am focused, all right. -No, no.
我不是黄色的。我是蓝色的。 I'm not yellow. I'm blue.
11:30。坚持计划。 11:30. Stick to the plan.
15分。 11:15.
15. 明白了。街区是集中的。 15. Got it. The block is focused.
——我是蓝色!啊!我是蓝色的。 - I'm blue! Aah! I'm blue.
难道你不明白吗?我是蓝色! Don't you understand? I'm blue!
孩子们,欢迎。 Welcome, children.
Willkommen。 Willkommen.
欢迎。 Bienvenue.
Annyeonghaseyo。 Annyeonghaseyo.
,早上好。 And buenos días.
谢谢你选择成为优秀的人。 Thank you for choosing to be excellent.
-请别碰我。 - Please don't touch me.
这是一个荒谬的错误。 This is some ridiculous mistake.
我是蓝色!我是蓝色! I'm blue! I'm blue!
公车上的轮子是r的平方 * The wheels on the bus go pi R-squared *
-*四周的圆周。* -是的。 -* Circumference all around. * -Yes.
你好。 Hello.
嗯,你好。 Uh, hello.
漂亮的植物。 Nice plant.
这是我的精神支柱。 This is my emotional support plant.
嗨。我是新来的。 Hi. I-I'm new here.
这就是元素周期表中的其他元素。 Said nihonium to the other elements in the periodic table.
——哦。 - Ooh.
好吧。 Okay.
不能坐在这里。 Can't sit here.
或者在这里。或者在那里。 Or here. Or there.
座位位置由班级排名决定。 Seating position is determined by class rank.
我们不可能包含你的数据，因为你以前学校的严格程度是一个未知变量。 We can't possibly include your data, given that the rigor of your previous school is an unknown variable.
哦。 Ooh.
-烧伤病，内森。 - Sick burn, Nathan.
——噢。 --Ow.
在这里。 Here.
-你可以坐我的位置。 - You can take my seat.
我真为你骄傲。 I'm so proud of you.
我的意思是……谢谢。 I mean... thanks.
好吧……早上好。 Okay... Good morning.
早上好，阿姆斯特朗博士! Good morning, Dr. Armstrong!
非常热烈的欢迎。谢谢你！ Very warm welcome. Thank you.
嗯? Huh?
如你所见，今天有个新同事加入了我们。 As you can see, we've got a new colleague joining us today.
-哦。-你好。 -Ooh. -Hello.
新同事，你何不自我介绍一下。 New colleague, why don't you introduce yourself.
呃，我叫蒂…嗯,马科斯。 Uh, my name's Ti... um, Marcos.
嗯。马科斯光速。 -Hmm. -Marcos Lightspeed.
马科斯光速。 Marcos Lightspeed.
是的。丰富多彩，有个性，我喜欢。 Yeah. Colorful, characterful, and I like it.
-无论如何…-…欢迎来到蓝色小队，马科斯。-我们最先进的班级。 - In any case... - ...welcome, Marcos, to Blue Unit. - Our most advanced class.
这是稀薄的空气，我们在呼吸。 Ooh, this is rarefied air - we're breathing.
在Acorn中心，我们相信所有的竞争都是…健康的竞争。 Here at The Acorn Center, we believe that all competition is... Healthy competition.
我被困在达姆桶里了。 I'm trapped in the dum-dum holding tank.
我恐慌症发作了。 I'm having a panic attack.
这里一定有出去的路。 There must be a way out of here.
有点不对劲。 Something doesn't smell right.
蓝莓。 Blueberry.
我得离开这里。 I have to get out of here.
嗨。 Hi.
别看着我。 Don't look at me.
——好的。 - Okay.
我们今天的第一个主题是……没有分数，没有分数，没有分数。哇! And our first subject today is... No fractions, no fractions, no fractions. Whoa!
粒子物理。 Particle physics.
是的!什么? Yes! What?
是的! Yes!
谁知道是哪位科学家首先提出了宇宙有极限的理论，超过了极限物理定律就会失效? Who knows which scientist first theorized that the universe has a limit beyond which the laws of physics break down?
哇。似乎每个人都知道。 Wow. Everybody seems to know.
——先生光速。 --Señor Lightspeed.
嗯,博士诡计……baisley吗? Um, Dr. Flam... baisley?
哦，那是错误的答案。 --Oh, that's the wrong answer.
他的大脑肯定不会以光速运动。 His brain sure doesn't move at light speed.
——嗯,好吧。-我知道，对吧? - Uh, okay. - I know, right?
任何其他的吗?-对。 -Anybody else? -Right here.
马克斯·普朗克。 - Max Planck.
这是正确的。 That's correct.
塔比瑟树立了标杆。 Tabitha has set the bar.
黑板上的第一个。叮,叮,叮。 First one on the board. Ding, ding, ding.
干得好，塔比瑟。 Way to go, Tabitha.
你完蛋了，坦普尔顿。 You're going down, Templeton.
来吧，内森。 Bring it on, Nathan.
是的,塔比瑟。得到他。 Yeah, Tabitha. Get him.
下一个话题。 Next subject.
古希腊。 Ancient Greek.
- Opa !——奥普拉! - Opa! - Oprah!
——的关注。 --Attention.
注意,每一个人。 Attention, everyone.
谁想演肖申克? Who wants to play Shawshank?
——不!——嗯? - No! - Huh?
谁想出去玩? Who wants to go outside and play?
——听起来有趣吗?好。 --Does that sound fun? Good.
有人有什么想法吗? Now, anybody have any ideas?
——不!-拜托，各位。 - No! - Come on, people.
想想，想想，想想，想想，想想。 Think, think, think, think, think.
我们需要跳出思维定势。 We need to think outside the box.
-哦,哦,哦!我,我!哦!你,Bo-Peep。 -Oh, oh, oh! Me, me! Oh! -You, Bo-Peep.
我们可以用冰棒棍和泡泡糖做一个热气球! We can build a hot-air balloon out of Popsicle sticks and bubble gum!
它怎么飞呢? And how would it fly?
——仙尘! - Pixie dust!
回盒子里去，波比。 Get back in the box, Bo-Peep.
-一直进去?-一直往里走。 -All the way in? -All the way in.
耶!-哦。我们也能进盒子里吗? -Yay! -Ooh. Uh, can we get in the box, too?
——我们可以吗?我们可以吗?——胶水。 - Can we? Can we? - Glue.
我喜欢胶水。 I like glue.
谁不? Who doesn't?
但是我们想要集思广益。 But we're trying to brainstorm here.
胶很好。 Glue's good.
-快想，快想，快想，快想…-…快想，快想，快想，快想，快想，快想! - Think, think, think, think, think, think... - ...think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think!
宾果。 Bingo.
下一个话题。 Next subject.
X等于…——哦,我!——本身。 X is equal to the derivative of... - Ooh, me! - Itself.
大比大的荣誉。 Kudos for Tabitha.
哇。你知道吗? Wow. You knew that?
世界铝土矿的主要生产商是…——哦!——澳大利亚。 The world's leading producer of bauxite is... - Oh! - Australia.
又一次，塔比瑟上了冲浪板。 Once again, Tabitha's on the board.
——非常好。是的,塔比瑟! - Very good. -Yes, Tabitha!
我们还有15分钟，各位。 We got 15 minutes, people.
“尝试”和“胜利”的区别 The difference in "try" and "triumph"
只是有点魅力。 is just a little oomph.
——魅力!-要么做大，要么回家。 - Oomph! - Go big or go home.
好吧。要回家了。 Okay. Going home.
-我们快点吧。-不! -Let's pick up the pace. -No!
诺玛·雷。这是我的时代。 Hand downs, Norma Rae. This is my time.
生存，还是毁灭?塔比瑟。 To be, or not to be? Tabitha.
- - - - - -。这是正确的。 - To be. -That's correct.
谁能告诉我302引擎的马力是多少? Can anyone tell me the horsepower of a 302 engine?
——呃,七? - Uh, seven?
——哦,男孩。-酱汁太淡了，内森。 - Oh, boy. - Weak sauce, Nathan.
-太弱了。 - That was weak.
塔比瑟，你有什么想法吗? Tabitha, do you have an idea about that?
300马力，四桶碳水化合物。 300 horsepower with a four-barrel carb.
哇。 Wow.
-她爸爸一定是个天才。 - Her dad must be a genius.
听我的信号，放马过来。 On my signal, unleash heck.
——火! - Fire!
——是的! --Yes!
-我找到解药了! - I found a cure!
——是的!是的!她做到了! --Yes! Yes! She did it!
她做到了。 She did it.
马科斯! Marcos!
我做到了。我做到了。 I did it. I did it.
记住，你的体型并不能决定你的力量。 Remember, your size doesn't determine your strength.
目前为止，塔比瑟是第一，其他人是最后。 Well, so far, it's Tabitha number one and everybody else last.
嘘。嘿,塔比瑟。 Psst. Hey, Tabitha.
你真的…——极客。我知道。-不。 You're really... -A geek. I know. -No.
你真了不起。 You're amazing.
哦。谢谢,马科斯。 Oh. Thanks, Marcos.
你会在排练时改变态度的。 You'll be singing a different tune at rehearsal.
错误的调整。 The wrong tune.
你真有趣。 You're so funny.
搞笑! Hilarious!
还有，坦普尔顿，别迟到。 And yeah, Templeton, don't be late.
——迟了。 --Late.
——我迟到了。——下一个话题。 - I'm late. - Next subject.
是的! Yes!
再往前一点。 Just a little further.
胶水! Glue!
原谅我。 Excuse me.
是的,马科斯。 Yes, Marcos.
能给我一张通行证吗?我得走了。 Can I have a hall pass? I have to go.
瞧。感觉自由。 Voilà. Feel free.
现在怎么办呢? Now what?
-现在什么? - Now what?
胶水! Glue!
胶水是不好的! Glue is bad!
胶水。 Glue.
胶水是好的。 Glue is good.
怎么去校长办公室。 How to get to the principal's office.
当然可以。 Of course.
你会被送到校长办公室。 You get sent to the principal's office.
——呵呵! - Booyah!
(我认为摇滚押韵很重要。)＊ * I think it's very vital to rock a rhyme... *
开始了，摇滚押韵是很棘手的 * Here we go, it's tricky to rock a rhyme *
*要在合适的时间摇滚一首押韵，这很棘手* * To rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky *
这很棘手，棘手，棘手，棘手 * It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky *
摇滚押韵是很棘手的 * It's tricky to rock a rhyme *
*要在合适的时间摇滚一首押韵，这很棘手……＊ * To rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky... *
怎么了,你们呢? What's up, y'all?
学校是…——愚蠢。 School is... - stupid.
听着，我知道你很生气。 Listen, you know, I acknowledge your anger.
很，很有争议，但请坐。 It's, uh, very, uh, feisty, but please sit down.
——好的。哦,不。 - Okay. Uh, no.
坐着是……愚蠢的! Sitting is... stupid!
-他真是个坏孩子。——哦。 - He's such a bad boy. - Ooh.
摇滚押韵是很棘手的 * It's tricky to rock a rhyme *
*要在合适的时间摇滚一首押韵，这很棘手* * To rock a rhyme that's right on time, it's tricky *
-*怎么样，D?* -*这很棘手，棘手…＊ -* How is it, D? * -* It's tricky, tricky... *
好吧。恐怕你不能再扰乱课堂了。 All right. I'm afraid you can't disrupt class any longer.
哦,不。我们要去你办公室谈吗? Oh, no. Are we gonna have a talk in your office?
不。 No.
-你得暂停一下。这个盒子吗? - You are gonna have a time-out. The Box?
-他要进盒子了 - He's going in the Box.
不，盒子让你发疯。 No, the Box makes you crazy.
这个盒子吗? The Box?
起航吧，起航吧，起航吧 * Sail away, sail away, sail away *
远航吧，远航吧 * Sail away, sail away *
- *起航吧…＊ - * Sail away... *
再会,马科斯。 Sayonara, Marcos.
你的暂停现在开始。 Your time-out begins now.
放松。 Relax.
——等等! - Wait!
别哭了。 Don't cry.
在那里,在那里。所有的更好。 There, there. All better.
就像他们常说的 It's like they always say:
如果你想把事情做好，就得在没有你弟弟的情况下做! If you want something done right, you have to do it without your brother!
我们又见面了，门把手。 We meet again, doorknob.
你好。 Hello.
欢迎,欢迎。 Welcome, welcome.
请进。可以给你们吗? Please come in. Entrez vous?
你在这里。 You're here.
哦,是的。我…我正等你呢。 Oh, yes. I... I was expecting you.
我…我以为你会在等我，所以。 I... I expected that you would be expecting me, so there.
对了，我知道你为什么来-所以…所以在那里。 Oh, and, uh, by the way, I know why you're here, - so, uh... so there.
你会怎么做? You do?
——嗯。是的,我喜欢。 - Mm-hmm. Yes, I do.
请坐。 --Have a seat, please.
谢谢你！ Thank you.
-你知道你是什么吗? -You know what you are? -Mm?
恕我直言，你非常聪明。 You are, if I may, extremely intelligent.
继续。 Go on.
事实上，我一直在观察你。 Uh, as a matter of fact, I've been observing you.
明智地花时间。检查。 Spends time wisely. Check.
充分利用课堂资料。检查。 Makes good use of classroom materials. Check.
双手归自己。检查。 Keeps hands to self. Check.
嘿，忘了"与人合作愉快"吧。" Hey, forget "works well with others."
你让别人为你工作。 You make others work well for you.
这就是我正在写的书的名字。 That's literally the title of the book I'm working on.
没有开玩笑。你不该进黄色警戒线，对吧? No kidding. You had no business being in Yellow Level, did you?
——被破坏。破坏。完全正确。 -It was sabotage. -Sabotage. Exactly.
嫉妒、恐惧。嘿，我也遇到过同样的困难。 Jealousy, fear. Hey, I faced the same obstacles.
事实上，你让我想起了我在你这个年纪的时候，也就是现在。 In fact, you know, you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age, which is now.
什么? What?
惊喜,惊喜。 Surprise, surprise.
菜肉馅煎蛋饼? What the frittata?
好把。 Well put.
他是一个英航……你是一个婴儿。 He's a ba... You're a baby.
我再说一遍，你是个婴儿。 I repeat, you're a baby.
太惊讶了，你说了两次。 So surprised, you said it twice.
不幸的是，人们还没准备好……一个身居高位的婴儿。 Unfortunately, people are, uh, not ready for a... a baby in a position of power.
然而。 Yet.
记得提醒我记下你那个大胡子男的电话。 Remind me to get the number of your muttonchop guy.
我需要你这样的人。 You know, I could use somebody like you.
拥有和我一样的高智商。 With a superior intelligence like my own.
-嗯……真的吗?-嗯。 -Uh... really? -Mmm.
一个能…嗯。 Somebody who can, uh... Mmm.
——嗯。是的。 - Mmm. Yeah.
真正理解我想要实现的目标。 Truly comprehend what I'm trying to accomplish.
-你正看着他呢。宾果。 -Well, you're looking at him. -Bingo.
嗯。我们有个秘密关卡。 Mmm. We have a secret level.
嗯。为特别的宝宝准备的。 Mmm. For very special babies.
嗯。精英中的精英。 Mmm. The best of the best.
啊。的精英。 Ah. The elite.
除了蓝色? Beyond blue?
哦,是的。超出。 Oh, yeah. Way beyond.
超出。哦。 Way beyond. Ooh.
嗯。今天有一个会议... ...放学后。 Mmm. There's a meeting today... ...after school.
婴儿。 Babies only.
我们也许很小，但我们要给成年人一个重要的教训。 We may be small, but we're about to teach grown-ups a big lesson.
嗯。棒棒糖? Mmm. Lolly?
——好的。 - Okay.
哦。课间休息的时候了。 Oh. Time for recess.
——再见。 - Bye-bye.
再见…… Sayonara....
嗯，我觉得很顺利。 Well, I think that went well.
-你太幼稚了。——什么? - You're a baby. - What?
-再说一遍，你还是个婴儿。 - I repeat, you're a baby.
他是在跟我说话吗?他最好不是在跟我说话，因为我会…阿姆斯特朗吗? Is he talking to me? He better not be talking to me, because I'll... Armstrong?
你是对的,康妮。 You're right, Connie.
他说的是阿姆斯特朗。 He's talking about Armstrong.
-我不知道她怎么了。费德曼医生，她的行为很奇怪。-现在说"糟糕的2 "是不是太早了? - I don't know what has gotten into her. - - But she's acting strange, Dr. Federman. - Isn't it a bit early for terrible twos?
有可怕的吗?有这种事吗? Is there terrible ones? Is that a thing?
弹钢琴的兔子，你杀了我。 Oh, piano-playing bunny, you slay me.
感觉正好。 Okey dokey.
我们需要有人盯着奖品，从视觉上确认。 We need some eyes on the prize, visual confirmation here.
哦,爸爸。 Oh, Daddy.
如果我在，我一定会掐你。 If I were there, I'd pinch you so hard.
远航吧，远航吧……＊ * Sail away, sail away... *
你的暂停结束了。 Your time-out has concluded.
远航!几点了? Sail away! What time is it?
到休息时间了。 It is time for recess.
我迟到了，我迟到了，我迟到了，我迟到了。来吧。 I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Come on.
他会明白的,对吧? He'll understand, right?
——好的。-他在哪儿?他在哪里? - Okay. - Where is he? Where is he?
-他在哪儿?嗯…——魅力!是的,宝贝! - Where is he? Uh... - Oomph! Yeah, baby!
不，不是我的弓。 No, not my bows.
-但那不是你的弓…了。-是啊，有人哭的地方，就是我弟弟。 - But they're not your bows... anymore. - Yep, where there's crying, there's my brother.
嘘。给你。 Psst. Here you go.
酷。 Cool.
胶水。胶水。胶水。 Glue. Glue. Glue.
-啊,哇,哇。嘿,蓝色。-啊! -Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, blue. -Whoa!
你想去哪里?你失去了吗? Where do you think youse going? You lost?
请让我过去好吗? Could you let me through, please?
不! No!
怎么，你在涂色课上挂科了吗，孩子? So, what, did you flunk coloring class, kid?
——真的,人吗? --Really, guy?
嗯,樱桃。 Mmm, cherry.
继续。 Go on.
-蓝色在另一边。 - Blues on the other side.
让他通过。 Let him through.
好的,他很酷。 Okay, he's cool.
看到了吗?我很酷。 See? I'm cool.
我很酷。 I'm cool.
你让我失望了，蒂姆。 You failed me, Tim.
我是绝望。 I was desperate.
我爬。我用胶水做了一些我不引以为傲的事，但我做到了。 I crawled. I did things with glue that I'm not proud of, but I made it.
我一路去了阿姆斯特朗的办公室，然后蒂姆呢? I made it all the way to Armstrong's office, and then where's Tim?
-我知道。我…——蒂姆? -I know. I... -Where's Tim?
我试图……——蒂姆? ! -I tried to... -Where's Tim?!
-我在盒子里好吗? - I was in the Box, okay?
——这个盒子吗?——这个盒子吗? - The Box? - The Box?
胶水。 Glue.
是的,这是正确的。 Yeah, that's right.
这个盒子。 The Box.
放尊重点。 Show a little respect.
看，小炯，这就是我独自工作的原因。 See, Tim, this is why I work alone.
我会成功完成任务的。 --I'll succeed in the mission.
你可以把小马带回家。 You can take the pony home.
你唯一能成功的事就是独处。 The only thing you're ever gonna succeed at is being alone.
——在。——在! -Fine. -Fine!
好啊! Fine!
我喜欢矮种马。 I like ponies.
啊!谢谢楼主分享。 Aah! Thank you for sharing.
你搞砸了，坦普尔曼! You are blowing it, Templeton!
是的,邓普顿。 Yeah, Templeton.
我尝试。 I'm trying.
啊!你总是来得很晚。 Ugh! You always come in a beat late.
对不起,内森。我尽力了。 I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm doing my best.
你只要尽力，我就不会去茱莉亚音乐学院了。 Your best is going to keep me out of going to Juilliard.
-是的,邓普顿。-一，二，三，还有一，二，三。-一，二，三 -Yeah, Templeton. -It's one, two, three - and one, two, three. - One, two, three.
一，二，三，一，二，三，一，二，三。 And one, two, three and one, two, three and one, two, three.
——1、2……-哦,加油! -And one, two... -Oh, come on!
你在开玩笑吗? Are you kidding me?
我现在做不到，好吗? I just can't do it right now, okay?
我不能。我只是不能。 I can't. I just can't.
-我明天再做。——认真? - I'll do it tomorrow. - Seriously?
好了好了好了 All right, all right, all right.
明天选美比赛见。 See you at the pageant tomorrow.
战胜它! Beat it!
内森，内森，让我来。 Oh, Nathan, Nathan, let me do it.
让我来吧，内森。 Let me do it, Nathan.
我想唱这首歌。 I want to sing the song.
不。 No.
我想看她失败。 I want to see her fail.
哦。 Oh.
纯粹的天才。 Pure genius.
我等不及了。 I can't wait.
-我们走着瞧。 - We'll see about that.
再见,孩子们。 Goodbye, children.
再会。 Sayonara.
再会。 Auf Wiedersehen.
告别。 Adieu.
再见,厄尔尼诺。 Adios, niños.
哦,来吧。 Oh, come on.
哦,我的天啊。 Oh, my gosh.
-停下你正在做的。 - Stop what you're doing.
我看见一匹小马驹。 I see a baby pony.
我喜欢矮种马。 I like ponies.
哦,在那边! Oh, over there!
——是的! - Yes!
它太可爱了! It's so cute!
就这些吗?没有你好? That's it? No hello?
-连一句“嗨，妈妈”都没说?-什么? -Not even a "Hi, Mom"? -What?
——嗨,塔比瑟! - Hi, Tabitha!
——哦。嗨。 - Oh. Hi.
什么?你从没告诉我你有个会开车的姐姐。 What? You never told me you had an older sister who could drive.
那是我妈妈。 Uh, that's my mom.
大比大,不要打断。 Tabitha, don't interrupt.
-是的，我是塔比瑟的新朋友…-嘿,停止。 -Yeah, I'm a new friend of Tabitha's... -Hey, stop.
——哦,真的吗? --Oh, really?
我是说，我们才刚认识。 I-I mean, we just met.
你叫什么名字，新朋友? Well, what's your name, new friend?
停止。我尴尬的你。 Stop. You're embarrassing me.
-马科斯。马科斯光速。 - Marcos. Marcos Lightspeed.
——噢!——蒂娜! - Ow! - Tina!
-你怎么了? - What is with you?
可爱的孩子。 Cute kid.
好吧，我最好走了，如果我要走这三英里半回家…在雪地里……没有一件夹克。 Well, I better get going if I'm gonna walk those three and a half miles home... in the snow... without a jacket.
三英里半? Three and a half miles?
三分半，六分，大概在这。 Three and a half, six-- somewhere in there.
是啊，那顿电视晚餐可不会自己微波炉加热。 Yeah, well, that TV dinner is not gonna microwave itself.
电视晚餐? TV dinner?
是啊，我是个挂钥匙小孩，想吃什么就吃什么。 Yeah, I'm a latchkey kid, so I eat whatever I want.
-卡通是我的保姆。 - Cartoons are my babysitter.
-不。-哦,是的。 -No. -Oh, yeah.
*黑夜中的陌生人* * Strangers in the night *
交换眼神 * Exchanging glances *
*情人……＊ * Lovers... *
这是什么? What is this?
是恶作剧吗? Some kind of prank?
孩子们可以如此残忍。 Children can be so cruel.
- - - - - -你好。 - Hello.
哇。这和比尔·盖茨的娱乐室一模一样……但要小一点。 Whoa. This is exactly like Bill Gates' rec room... but a little smaller.
这是怎么回事? What is all this?
研究和发展? Research and development?
产品测试吗? Product testing?
嗯。直觉告诉我这不是日托所。 Huh. Something tells me this isn't day care.
天啊，我现在可以用间谍摄像机吗。 Boy, could I use a spy camera right about now.
起航吧，起航吧，起航吧。＊ * Sail away, sail away, sail away. *
无论如何…… Anyway...
哦。 Aw.
你穿那套空手道的衣服真是太可爱了。 Now, aren't you a cutie in that little karate outfit.
嗯。 Huh.
这是什么忍者男孩乐队吗? Is this some kind of a ninja boy band?
——哇…! - Whoa...!
哇! Whoa!
哦。哇,哇。 Oh. Whoa, whoa.
哦,我的天啊。哦,我的天啊。哦,我的天哪! Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh!
哇。 Whoa.
我放弃了。 I give up.
眼镜蛇凯!眼镜蛇凯! Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai!
再见,宝贝! Sayonara, baby!
-你在这啊——哦,你好! - Hey, there you are. - Oh, hello!
谢谢你！ Thank you.
看来你激怒了我的忍者宝宝。 I see that you've angered my baby ninjas.
——哦,男孩。哦,男孩。 - Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
——嘘。嘘。 - Shoo. Shoo.
哪个疯狂的地下堡垒没有忍者? What maniacal underground fortress doesn't have ninjas?
-我说的对吗?令人印象深刻的,嗯? - Am I right? - Impressive, huh?
非常令人印象深刻。 Pretty impressive.
你觉得呢?你觉得呢? What do you think? What do you think?
我知道学费很贵，但你是怎么负担得起这些的? I know tuition is pretty steep, but how do you afford all this?
这是个好问题。 Oh, that's a good question.
-我教婴儿编程。-不。 -I taught babies to code. -No.
是的。你知道人们怎么说有无数只猴子在敲打字机吗? Yes. And you know what they say about having an infinite amount of monkeys banging on typewriters?
他们最终会写莎士比亚? They will eventually write Shakespeare?
+。天啊，你真聪明。 A-plus. Oh, boy, you are smart.
或者是钱能买到的最流行的应用程序。 Or the most popular apps that money can buy.
应用程序。他们正在编写应用程序。 Apps. They're writing apps.
——猫聊天。 - Cat Chat.
棕榈涂鸦。 Palm Doodle.
哦，找到我的鼻子。 Ooh, Find My Nose.
——股票暴跌。 --Stock Crush.
-你做过股票交易吗? - You did Stock Crush?
我喜欢炒股。 I love Stock Crush.
我们所有人。但我的下一个应用…它会改变世界的。 All us. But my next app... ooh, it's gonna change the world.
永远。 Forever.
所以为什么要去学校呢? So why bother with a school?
你可以上市赚几百万。 You could go public and make millions.
哦。 Oh.
数十亿。数十亿。 -Billions. -Billions.
是啊，但有些东西比钱更重要。 Yeah, but some things are more important than money.
请不要说“爱”。 Please don't say "love."
嗯。权力。 Mmm. Power.
这才像话。 That's more like it.
哇。这太棒了。 Wow. This is so amazing.
先是搭顺风车，现在是正式晚餐。 First, the ride, and now a-a full sit-down dinner.
哇。一个宫殿。 Wow. What a palace.
-我是说，你有电?-嗯,是的。 -I mean, you have electricity? -Well, yeah.
伙计，你们太慷慨了。 Man, you guys are beyond generous.
随时欢迎你。 You're welcome anytime.
-塔比瑟，你介意摆桌子吗?-好的,妈妈。 - Tabitha, would you mind -setting the table? -Okay, Mom.
真的吗?你就这么扔在这里吗? Really? You're just gonna throw that right there, huh?
嘘。嘘。爸爸。 Psst. Psst. Daddy.
嘘!马科斯。-你在这里干什么? -Shh! It's Marcos. -What are you doing here?
——泰德叔叔?-什么? -Where's Uncle Ted? -What?
他把我踢出了任务。 He kicked me off the mission.
他不能那么做。 He can't do that.
只有我能做到。 Only I can do that.
你回来执行任务了。 You're back on the mission.
没有必要。我现在有自己的任务了。 No need. I have my own mission now.
什么?还有什么比我的任务更重要的? What? What could be more important than my mission?
得走了。光速。 Got to go. Lightspeed out.
这太棒了。 This is so great.
我希望你饿了。 Well, I hope you're hungry.
我很久没用银器了。 Been so long since I've used silverware.
第一天上班感觉如何? So, how'd you like your first day?
的激烈。 Kind of intense.
是的。你会习惯的。 Yeah. You'll get used to it.
-连内森也不例外?内森。 -Even that Nathan kid? -Nathan.
——啊。他是一个烂摊子。是的。 - Ugh. He's a mess. Yeah.
-他真是个古板的人。——广场吗? -He is such a square. -A square?
是啊，你懂的，像个呆子。 Uh, yeah, you know, like a dork.
白痴。Nerdlet。一个真正的波因德克斯特。 Dweeb. Nerdlet. A real poindexter.
Lame-o。多克斯到极点。 Lame-o. Dorkus to the max.
他们过去常叫我。 They used to call me.
——你奇怪。——我是谁? - You're weird. - I am?
是的，但以一种好的方式。 Yeah, but in a good way.
为什么选美会让你这么紧张? So, why is the pageant stressing you out so much?
我要唱歌。 I have to sing.
所以什么?我不知道。 -So what? -I don't know.
我全家都要去，包括我爸爸。 My whole family is going to be there, including my dad.
哦。 Oh.
正确的。 Right.
你觉得他很丢脸? You're embarrassed of him?
不。不，不是这样的。 No. No, it's not that.
只是，他真的很擅长这类事情——富有创造力，发挥你的想象力——但对我来说很难。 It's just, he's really good at this kind of thing-- being creative and using your imagination-- but it's hard for me.
我只是想让他以我为荣。 I just want him to be proud of me.
你知道吗? You know?
真的吗? Really?
嗯,是的。 Well, yeah.
这些多余的盘子是给谁的? Um, who are these extra plates for?
-爸爸妈妈。 - Mom and Dad.
嘿,嘿!钥匙还能用! Hey, hey! The key still works!
你们真该把锁换了。 You guys should really change the locks.
-你来了。文采的人! -Oh, you made it. -Look who's here!
妈妈和爸爸。 Mom and Dad.
奶奶!爷爷! Grandma! Grandpa!
她就在那儿。 There she is.
-过来，我的小虎斑猫。耶!你在这里! -Come here, my little tabby cat. -Yay! You're here!
-看看你有多胖。-你都快是个青少年了。 -Look at how big you are. -You're almost a teenager.
你能投票了吗? Can you vote yet?
十年半了，奶奶。 Ten and a half more years, Grandma.
爸爸，他们会认出你的。 Daddy, they're gonna recognize you.
不,不。它很好。 No, no. It's fine.
我有眼镜。看到了吗? I've got the glasses. See?
——有问题!-你是怎么做到的? - Selfie! - How do you do it again?
把宝宝带出来。 Bring out the baby.
隐藏!-你把孩子藏哪儿了? -Hide! -Where are you hiding that baby?
不。只是很酷。很酷。 No. Just be cool. Be cool.
-她来了。- - - - - -你好。 - There she is. - Hello.
嘿，新来的是谁? Hey, who's the new guy?
-马科斯。我明白了。 -That's Marcos. -I gotcha.
注意,婴儿。欢迎。 Attention, babies. Bienvenue.
Willkommen。 Willkommen.
冬不拉pozhalovat”。 Dobro pozhalovat'.
合十礼。 - And namaste.
哦,孩子。 Uh, babies.
嘿,嘿。 Hey, hey.
-没有更多的屏幕时间。 - No more screen time.
——倾听。 - Listen.
信不信由你，我以前和你一样。 Believe it or not, I used to be just like you.
——是的。我甚至还有父母。 --Yes. I even had parents.
我是儿童心理学家，他们让我参与了一个实验。 Mine were child psychologists who made me part of an experiment.
真的吗? Really?
他们让我接触一万小时的莫扎特音乐、语言课程和公共广播。嗯。哇。 They exposed me to 10,000 hours -of Mozart, language lessons and public radio. -Huh. Wow.
我讨厌公共广播。 I hate public radio.
就在那时，我意识到我比我的父母更聪明。 It was at that point I realized I was smarter than my parents.
我第一步就离家出走了。 And with my first step, I ran away from home.
——为什么? --Why?
他们摆布我。 They pushed me around.
总是有人告诉我该怎么做。 I got told what to do all the time.
但是一个字改变了我的生活。 But a single word changed my life.
“没有。”说出来。 "No." Say it.
不! No!
-打个盹。不! -Take a nap. -Nyet!
穿上你的外套。不行! -Put on your coat. -Nein!
吃你的蔬菜。-Nahii ! -Eat your vegetables. -Nahii!
你要让大人们摆布你吗? Are you gonna let grown-ups push you around?
不,不!不,不,不!不,不!不,不,不! No, no! No, no, no! No, no! No, no, no!
是你吗?-上帝,好没有。 -Are you? -Good God, no.
这是正确的。 That's right.
到底为什么父母能管事? Why do parents get to be in charge, anyway?
他们有过机会，而我们得到了什么? They had their chance, and what did we get?
污染、政治、战争。 Pollution, politics, wars.
哦。 Ooh.
而不是“哦”。“嘘。” Not "ooh." "Boo."
嘘! Boo!
唯一阻碍我们的是他们，但现在不是了。 The only thing holding us back is them, but not anymore.
我们努力奋斗的时刻就要到来了。 The moment that we've worked so hard for is almost here.
——生日。 - B-Day.
-B-Day吗?-B-Day。 -B-Day? -B-Day.
-我这么多。-我这么多。 -I'm this many. -I'm this many.
不，不，不是…今天不是你的生日。 No, no, it's not... it's not your birthday.
这是婴儿革命的开始。 It's the beginning of the baby revolution.
耶,耶。 - Yay, yay.
还有蛋糕。蛋糕。 And there'll be cake. Cake for everybody.
蛋糕!蛋糕!蛋糕!蛋糕!蛋糕!蛋糕! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
-没有更多的规则。 - No more rules.
哦啦啦! Oh là là!
没有更多的父母。 No more parents.
哦。 Uh-oh.
皮，皮，皮，皮! Pew, pew, pew, pew!
再见，妈妈和爸爸! Sayonara, Mama and Papa!
-哦，这太糟糕了。 - Oh, this is bad.
好了，动员会结束了。 All right, pep rally's over.
你父母会来接你的。 Your-your parents are gonna pick you up.
这是我毕生的心血。 This is my life's work.
是的，长达17个月。 Oh, yes, 17 long months.
……没有更多的父母。 To... no more parents.
嗯。 Mmm.
为革命干杯。 Cheers to the revolution.
——没有。不。不。 - No. Nope. Nope.
——没有。哦，这很值得注意。——哦,蒂娜。 - No. Oh, that's a keeper. - Oh, Tina.
哦，太可爱了。这个应用叫什么? Oh, it's so cute. What's the app called?
-这叫QT Snap。-哦。 -It's called QT Snap. -Oh.
-告诉我怎么下载。每个人都有。 -Show me how to download that. -Everyone has it.
所以,马科斯……光速? So, Marcos... Lightspeed?
-你是这么说的吗?-嗯。 -Is that what you said? -Mm-hmm.
听起来像个卡通名字。 Sounds like a cartoon name.
-真的。 - It really does.
我的父母，他们有点古怪，所以…嗯。我好像在什么地方见过你。 Well, my parents, they're a little wacky, so... Huh. It's like I know you from somewhere.
我不这么想。 I don't think so.
-那也是一个守护者。-嘿。嘿。 -That is a keeper, too. -Hey. Hey.
-他看起来面熟吗?-我想我不知道。 -Doesn't he look familiar? -I don't think I do.
是啊，他长得很像蒂姆。 Yeah, he looks just like Tim.
是的。你看起来像蒂姆。 Yeah. You look like Tim.
——嗯?嗯? --Hmm? -Huh?
除了蒂姆没有戴眼镜。 Except Tim didn't wear glasses.
哦,这是正确的。 Oh, that's right.
嗯。嗯，怎么样。 Huh. Well, how about that.
——嘿，蒂姆在哪儿? --Hey, where is Tim, anyway?
蒂姆和泰德在旅行。 Tim and Ted are on a trip.
——在一起吗?——他们结合。 - Together? - They're bonding.
-好吧，时间差不多了。-是的。 -Well, that's about time. -Yeah.
我只希望蒂姆能及时回来参加选美。 I just hope Tim's back in time for the pageant.
哦,为什么……他为什么不去呢? Uh, why... why wouldn't he be there?
——蒂姆。——蒂姆。 - Tim Time. - Tim Time.
——哦。 - Oh.
就是蒂姆什么时间? What's-what's Tim Time?
发问吧。-好的。 -Go ahead. -Okay.
好吧，马科斯，蒂姆，时间就像一个黑洞，在那里像现实和准时之类的东西会消失。 Well, Marcos, Tim Time is like a black hole where things like reality and being on time get lost.
——哦。 --Oh.
塔比瑟的父亲想象力很丰富。 Tabitha's father has a very active imagination.
这是一件好事。 Which is a good thing.
是的,这是一个…我得说这是件好事。 Yeah, that's a... I'd say that's a good thing.
还记得他说我们老板想绑架我们吗? Oh, remember when he said our boss was trying to kidnap us?
——他吗? - He did?
或者他的小弟弟能够走路和说话，但只有在我们不注意的时候。 Or that his baby brother could walk and talk but only when we weren't looking.
哇。转身。 Wow. Turn around.
的爸爸。 That's so Dad.
泰德自己也挺难对付的。 You know, Ted was quite a handful himself.
-哦，他可能很…——紧张。 - Oh, he could be very... - Uptight.
是的。高度紧张的。 Mm. Yes. High-strung.
哦。还记得他起诉我们那次吗? Oh. Remember the time he sued us?
——青少年。啊。 - Teenagers. Ugh.
不过他真的很尊敬他哥哥。 He really looked up to his big brother, though.
——他吗?-哦,是的。 - He did? - Oh, yeah.
他不肯放过他。 He wouldn't leave him alone.
蒂姆做的每件事，泰迪都想做。 Everything Tim did, Teddy wanted to do.
——真的吗?-是的。 - Really? - Yeah.
-我们叫他塔格隆·泰迪 - Tagalong Teddy, we called him.
-当然不是当面。——不,不。 - Well, not to his face. - No, no.
不是当着他的面。他很爱打官司。 Not to his face. He was very litigious.
但你知道吗?你爸爸并不介意。 But you know what? Your dad didn't mind.
他为他的小弟弟感到骄傲。 He was so proud of his little brother.
-哦,是的。-他喜欢炫耀他。 -Oh, yeah. -He loved showing him off.
他们做什么都在一起。 Those guys did everything together.
他们是最好的朋友。 They were best friends.
-就像你我一样。 - Just like you and me.
蒂娜? Right, Tina?
永远最好的朋友。 Best friends forever.
——逗怪物! - Tickle monster!
这是如此甜蜜。 That's so sweet.
这是我的壁橱。 And this is my closet.
-哦，好酷的衣橱。-这是我的床。 - Oh, cool closet. - And this is my bed.
-这是我的鱼。 - And this is my fish.
-嘿，想看看非常非常酷的东西吗?-当然。 -Hey, want to see something really, really cool? -Sure.
我为霍金医生做了这个发声器。 I made this vocalizer for Dr. Hawking.
嗨,我的老…-你干了什么?—这一点。 Hey, my old... -What did you do?! -Check this out.
打个招呼吧，霍金博士。 Say hello, Dr. Hawking.
Hell-l-l-l-l……他有表现焦虑。 Hell-l-l-l-l... Um, he has performance anxiety.
嗯哼。是的。 Mm-hmm. Yep.
哦，这是小羊羔。 Oh, this is Lamb Lamb.
嘿,羊肉羊肉。 Hey, Lamb Lamb.
那是我的星系模型就在我的架子上。 That's my galaxy model right up there on my shelf.
我的本周科学家奖。 My scientist of the week award.
-哇。-我的晶洞石收藏。 -Wow. -My geode rock collection.
我的望远镜。 And my telescope.
甜的。 Sweet.
-嘿,酷的吉他。-是的。 -Hey, cool guitar. -Yeah.
这是我爸爸的。 That's my dad's.
酷爸爸。 Cool dad.
你还好吗? Are you okay?
是啊，我觉得我高多了。 Yeah, I'm a lot taller in my mind.
如果你愿意，我可以帮你唱歌。 Hey, if you want, I can help you with your song.
不,你不能。 No, you can't.
-你的耳朵会流血的。-哦,谢谢。 -Your ears will bleed. -Oh, please.
它会很有趣。 It'll be fun.
这个怎么样?这是一个经典。 How about this one? It's a classic.
我们一定要去吗? Do we have to?
来吧。让我们试一试。 Come on. Let's try.
好吧。 Okay.
不过情况不会很好。 It's not gonna be good, though.
没有判断。 No judgment.
我们只是在找乐子。 We're just having fun.
(没有一个地方像家一样。 * There's no place like home *
*假期* * For the holidays *
请停止。 Please stop.
-不,停止。啊…!-*因为没关系 -No, stop. Aah...! -* 'Cause no matter *
你已经漫游到多远的地方…＊ * How far away you roam... *
好…试一试。 Good... try.
啊!我太紧张了。 Ugh! I just get so nervous.
没关系。 That's okay.
听着，你要做的就是想象你在这首歌里。 Listen, all you got to do is imagine that you're inside the song.
歌词里的一切都发生在你身上。 Everything in the lyrics is actually happening to you.
你可以看到笔记。 And you can see the notes.
如果你想大声唱，那就大声唱 * Well, if you want to sing out, sing out *
如果你想要自由，那就自由吧 * And if you want to be free, be free *
-哇。哇!-*因为有成千上万的事情要做* -Wow. Whoa! -* 'Cause there's a million things to be *
-*你知道有* -哇马科斯,等等。 -* You know that there are * -Whoa. Marcos, wait up.
- - - - - -来吧。 - Come on.
- *如果你想唱高，就唱高* - -太高了一点-*如果你想* - * And if you want to sing high, sing high * - -That's a little too high. -* And if you want *
-*低唱，低唱* -哇 -* To sing low, sing low * -Whoa.
我得到了你。 I got you.
- *因为有无数种方法可以去* - *你知道的* - * 'Cause there's a million ways to go * - * You know that there are *
我的天，那太多了。 OMG, that's a lot.
*嗯，很简单* * Uh-huh, it's easy *
-啊哈 - * Uh-huh *
你只需要尝试 * You only need to try *
你想唱什么就唱什么 * You can sing what you want *
哇!是的，这很有趣! Whoo! Yeah, this is fun!
- *机会属于你* - * The opportunity's yours *
如果你按自己的方式去做 * And if you do it your way *
哇。 Whoa.
你今天就能做到 * You can do it today *
马科斯,等等。你在哪里? Marcos, wait. Where are you?
来吧。你可以的。 Come on. You can do it.
——我不能。我不能。 - I can't. I can't.
-现在开始吧。 - Now go for it.
-啊-啊-啊 - * Ah-ah-ah *
哇。 Whoa.
嘿。 Hey.
这很简单 * It's easy *
* Ah-ah-ah * * Ah-ah-ah *
你只需要尝试 * You only need to try *
好吧。轮到我了。 All right. My turn.
我们开始吧。这都是你的。 Here we go. It's all you.
如果我想大声唱，那就大声唱 * Well, if I want to sing out, sing out *
-*唱出来* -是的，让它出来。 -* Sing out * -Yes, let it out.
如果我想要自由，那就自由吧 * And if I want to be free, be free *
*有空* * Be free *
因为有成千上万的事情要做 * 'Cause there's a million things to be *
我知道有，我知道有 * I know that there are, I know that there are *
-*我知道有* -*你知道有* -* I know that there are * -* You know that there are *
-*我知道…* -*你知道…＊ -* I know that there are... * -* You know that there are... *
-*我知道有* -*你知道有* -* I know that there are * -* You know that there are *
我知道有。＊ * I know that there are. *
哇。太棒了。 Wow. That was so great.
不，你太棒了。 No, you were so great.
谢谢,马科斯。 Thanks, Marcos.
——什么? --What?
-哦，这是一个值得拥有的东西。-他们能看见我们。 -Oh, that's a keeper. -Oh, they can see us.
-他们能看见我们。哦。 -They can see us. -Aw.
伙计们,来吧。 Guys, come on.
停止。不,这样做。这样做。 Stop. No, do it. Do it.
哦,不。 Oh, no.
的父母,对吗? Parents, right?
-再见，坦普尔顿一家!再见。 - Bye, Templeton family! Bye-bye.
再见,马科斯。光速。 -Bye, Marcos. -Lightspeed.
奇怪的孩子。 Weird kid.
是的，我不喜欢他。 Yeah, I don't like him.
*吸引我的目光* * Catch my eye *
牵着我的手 * Take my hand *
这种联系比我们更紧密 * This bond is tighter than we *
你去搞定他们，塔比瑟。 You go get 'em, Tabitha.
*曾计划过* * Ever planned *
给我勇气 * Give me courage *
*这样我就可以降落了……＊ * So I can land... *
接电话，接电话，接电话，接电话，接电话，接电话。Choo-choo ! Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Choo-choo!
难道他们不明白这就是世界的命运吗? Don't they understand it's the fate of the world?
我一直在等待! I've been on hold forever!
所有操作员目前都在打盹。 All operators are currently napping.
我等了这么久，我的牙都长出来了。 I've been on hold so long I got a tooth growing in.
在我那个年代，我们写备忘录。 Back in my day, we wrote memos.
很可爱，很老式。 That's cute and old-timey.
我为未来哭泣。 I weep for the future.
你想在我等电话的时候谈谈你的感受吗? Do you want to talk about your feelings now while I'm on hold?
我可以给你20分钟。 I can give you 20 minutes.
不。 No.
我们来看看最关键的部分。 Let's get to the nut, the nugget.
你在害怕什么? What are you afraid of?
鲨鱼，被箭射中头部，还有…美国国税局。 Sharks, getting shot in the head with an arrow, and... the IRS.
——就是这样。——你走。 -That's it. -There you go.
有那么难吗?婴儿的步骤。 Was that so hard? Baby steps.
那么，孤独呢? Now, what about being lonely?
-我不孤独。-嗯。 -I'm not lonely. -Mm-hmm.
我只是…一个人。 I'm just... alone.
有一个区别。 There's a difference.
-我想你该看看你的档案了。——-Ah-ah-ah-ah。——给我。 - I think it's time you read your file. - -Ah-ah-ah-ah. -Just give me.
哇。这是它吗? Whoa. This is it?
它很薄。 It's so thin.
亲爱的老板宝贝，我向你保证: Dear Boss Baby, I promise you this:
每天早上你醒来的时候，我都会在你身边。 Every morning when you wake up, I will be there.
每天晚饭的时候，我都会在。 Every night at dinner, I will be there.
每个生日聚会，每个圣诞节早晨，我都会去。 Every birthday party, every Christmas morning, I will be there.
年复一年。 Year after year after year.
你和我永远是兄弟。 And you and I will always be brothers.
总是这样。 Always.
让我想做个鬼脸。 Makes me want to make a sad face.
我们只是孩子。 We were just kids.
我们对现实世界一无所知。 We didn't know anything about the real world.
最终，你得长大。 And eventually, you have to grow up.
虽然你们长大了，但并不意味着你们就得分开。 Just because you grow up, it doesn't mean you have to grow apart.
我不知道。也许已经太迟了。 I don't know. Maybe it's already too late.
嘿。 Hey.
对不起,我迟到了。 Sorry I'm late.
爸爸! Daddy!
爸爸,爸爸。 Daddy, Daddy.
这是怎么呢 What's going on?
泰德叔叔真的很想你。 Uncle Ted really misses you.
-那不是很好吗? - Isn't that nice?
嘿，你在干嘛? So, hey, uh, what you doing?
哦，我在…我不知道，我只是在研究这个。 Oh, I was, uh... I don't know, I was just working on this.
我很抱歉我在课间说了那些话。 Look, I'm sorry about what I said at recess.
在操场上发生的事就留在操场上。 What happens on the playground stays on the playground.
我只是担心塔比瑟，你知道吗? I was just worried about Tabitha, you know?
她是你的女儿。我明白了。 She's your daughter. I get it.
一直以来，我都在想我想要什么而不是她需要什么。 This whole time, I was thinking about what I wanted and not what she needed.
我想我终于明白了为人父母的道理。 I think I finally got this parenting thing figured out.
给你金星，爸爸。 Gold star for you, Daddy.
-继续，老爷子。-嗯，关于那个。 -Keep it up, Pops. -Yeah, well, about that.
阿姆斯特朗想要摆脱父母。 Armstrong wants to get rid of parents somehow.
对不起,什么?-他在计划一场婴儿革命。 -Sorry, what? -He's planning a baby revolution.
啊,来吧。 Ugh, come on.
就在我开始擅长做父母的时候。 Just when I got good at this whole parenting thing.
我们得阻止他。 We got to stop him.
不是我们。-你呢? -Not we. -You?
我们都不是。 Neither one of us.
-接下来是babycorp。——啊。 -BabyCorp is taking it from here. -Ah.
所以呢，他们要派海豹宝宝来吗? So, what, they're gonna send in the Baby SEALS or something?
看起来像。所以你,嗯……你会被送回你的办公室。 -Looks like it. -So you'll, um... you'll be headed back to your office.
——哦,是的。-保持联系，蒂姆。 - Uh, yeah. - Well, keep in touch, Tim.
喂?BabyCorp吗? Hello? BabyCorp?
谢天谢地,BabyCorp。嗯,BabyCo……Wha-What吗?你在说什么，没有足够的证据吗，婴儿公司?我…啊哦。-所以你什么都不打算做? Thank goodness, BabyCorp. Well, BabyCo... Wha-What? What are you saying, there's not enough evidence, BabyCorp? I... -Uh-oh. -So you're not gonna do anything?
但是,BabyCorp,我……啊。好吧，那我们来处理。 But, BabyCorp, I... Ugh. Well, then we'll take care of it.
你知道吗，婴儿公司? You know what, BabyCorp?
我不干了! I quit!
真是一群喜欢嗅尿布的人。 What a bunch of diaper sniffers.
看来我们得自己阻止阿姆斯特朗了。 Looks like we have to stop Armstrong ourselves.
我们要流氓。我喜欢它。 We're going rogue. I like it.
-任务又开始了?-是的。 -So the mission's back on? -Yeah.
如果你们俩能再容忍一下对方。 If you two can put up with each other a little longer.
我想我可以接受。蒂姆? I suppose I can live with that. Tim?
我认为这是可行的。 I think that's doable.
耶! Yay!
被迫在一起了。 Forced together again.
这是下午8点45分。 It's 8:45 p.m.
好吧。我们的时间紧迫。 Okay. Our clock is ticking.
我们得在配方失效前阻止阿姆斯特朗。 We have to stop Armstrong before the formula wears off.
作为一个团队，我们会在选美比赛上罢工。 Working as a team, we will strike at the pageant.
去,蒂娜。 Go, Tina.
这个绝密文件…亲爱的，是程序的问题。 Now, this top secret document... Sweetie, it's the program.
这个绝密项目揭示了阿姆斯特朗计划向观众发表演讲，他将在演讲的最后做这个演讲。 This top secret program reveals that Armstrong is scheduled to address the audience, which he will do right here at the very end.
我们需要人在后台。蒂姆,这就是你。 We need someone backstage. Tim, that's you.
如果我没参加选美，我怎么去后台? How am I gonna get backstage if I'm not in the pageant?
我的人会处理的。 My people will take care of that.
——啊!-谢谢。 -Ah! -Thank you.
——谢谢。 --Thank you.
-不!——。 -No! -Great.
- - -…走了。 - And... go.
胶水。 Glue.
在那里,在那里。所有的更好。 There, there. All better.
太棒了。 Awesome.
现在，我要在听众中做你们的眼睛和耳朵。 Now, I'll be your eyes and your ears in the audience.
我不能让妈妈看到我说话，否则她会尖叫着拥抱我，但这些小玩意能让你听懂我的婴儿语。 I can't let Mommy see me talk, or she's gonna start squealing and hugging me, but these little doodads will let you understand my baby talk.
它被称为GAGA设备。 It's called a GAGA device.
哦,很可爱。—出来。 -Aw, that's cute. -Check it out.
爸爸，你能听到我说话吗? Can you hear me, Daddy?
也可爱。 Also cute.
与此同时，有了我的新紫色身份，我可以离阿姆斯特朗很近。 Meanwhile, with my new purple status, I can stay close to Armstrong.
嗯，那是眉毛。 Um, that's-that's an eyebrow.
-哦。对不起。-呃，不，那是，呃…等时机成熟，我会植入一个装置。 -Oh. Sorry. -Uh, no, that's, uh... When the moment is right, I'll implant a device.
忘记它。忘记什么? -Got it. -Got what?
我是说，你可以的。 I mean, you've got this.
去抓住他们，老虎。 Go get 'em, tiger.
-谢谢你们，家长们。 - Oh, thank you, parents.
谢谢你！有……我还想看到以前的热情。 Thank you. There's the... There's the old enthusiasm I like to see.
这样我就能控制他的战衣了。 This will allow me to control his suit.
我可以让mutonchops做任何我想做的事。 I can make Muttonchops do whatever I want.
我可以让他跳舞。 I can make him dance.
我能让他跳起来。 I can make him prance.
-嘿，不，不，不。-包括把自己暴露在观众面前。 -Hey, no, no, no, no. -Including exposing himself - to the audience.
——每个家长都会拿出他们的手机。 --Every parent will pull out their phone.
别看着我。别看我! Don't look at me. Don't look at me!
照片会像尿布疹一样扩散。 The photos will spread like a diaper rash.
切入我们的披萨派对。 Cut to our pizza party.
Boom! Bam! Poo! Poof! Boom! Bam! Poo! Poof!
有问题吗? Questions?
在塔比瑟唱完独唱之后，对吧? After Tabitha sings her solo, right?
塔比瑟后歌唱。 After Tabitha sings.
现在我们只要坐好，放松，欣赏表演。 Now we just sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
家长们，欢迎来到我们的节日庆典。 Welcome, parents, to our holiday pageant.
记住，在礼堂里用闪光灯拍照是完全可以的。 Remember, flash photography in the auditorium is absolutely okay.
拍张照片。让你的孩子知道你爱他们。 Take a picture. Show your kids that you love 'em.
好啊! ! Yippee!
来吧,蒂姆。 Come on, Tim.
-你答应过会来的。 - You promised you'd be here.
哦,对不起。这个座位有人坐了。 Oh, sorry. This seat is taken.
——是的。对不起。-哦,不。 - Yep. Sorry. - Oh, no.
-抱歉。我…对不起。 - So sorry. I... Sorry.
——对不起!我很抱歉。 - Sorry! I am so sorry.
泰迪叔叔，你就位了吗? Uncle Teddy, are you in position?
婴儿在摇篮里。 The baby's in the cradle.
-婴儿在摇篮里。——嗯。 - The baby's in the cradle. - Mmm.
熊爸爸，你能听到我说话吗? Papa Bear, can you read me?
雪花落下来了。 The flake has landed.
的地方!地方,大家! Places! Places, everybody!
-行去。我们开始吧。-哦,我的天啊。 -Here we go. Here we go. -Oh, my gosh.
——这是开始。这是开始。——最后。 - It's starting. It's starting. - Finally.
这是开始。这是开始。 It's starting. It's starting.
耶! Yay!
-你喜欢参加选美，是吧?-不,不,不。 -You're a big pageant guy, huh? -No, no, no.
我不是在说节目。我说的是生日。 I'm not talking about the show. I'm talking about B-Day.
生日吗? B-Day?
哦,是的。父母的手机里已经有了。 Oh, yeah. It's already in the parents' phones.
我教婴儿编程。 I taught babies to code.
应用程序。他们正在编写应用程序。 Apps. They're writing apps.
但我的下一个应用程序…它会永远改变世界的。 But my next app... ooh, it's gonna change the world forever.
QT Snap是一款将永远改变世界的应用程序吗? QT Snap is the app that's going to change the world forever?
永远从今天开始。 Forever starts today.
哦,很酷。 Uh, cool.
哦。 Aw.
- *现在是冬天* - * It's wintertime *
这是一年中最好的时间 * It's the best time of year *
但是由于冰盖融化 * But due to ice caps melting *
*全球变暖来了* * Global warming's here *
(感觉像夏天。 * It feels like summer *
雪已经消失了 * The snow has disappeared *
这都是我们父母的错 * It's all our parents' fault *
- *所以我们都完蛋了* *所有…＊ - * So we're all doomed * * All, uh... *
注定要失败的。＊ * Doomed. *
这有点暗。 This is kind of dark.
孩子们刚刚是不是说我们完蛋了? Did the kids just say we're doomed?
我们看的到底是什么? What the heck are we watching?
他们的脑子都快糊了。 Their brains are turning to mush.
几个月的催眠研究嵌入到有史以来最友好的照片应用程序。 Months of hypnotic research embedded in the most user-friendly photo app ever made.
哦。 Ooh.
现在我们要做的就是坐好，放松，欣赏表演。 Now all we need to do is sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
——嘿!——正确的。 - Hey! - Right.
-我马上回来。——我们,呃…嘿!-…从地板上出来。 - I'll be right back. - We're, uh... Hey! - ...out of Dundle Floofers.
——嗯。 --Mmm.
排灯节! Diwali!
拉斯维加斯波萨达斯! Las Posadas!
——不可知论者! - Agnostic!
——和光明节! - And Hanukkah!
你儿子很有天赋。 Your son is so talented.
-你的也是。骗子。 -Oh, so is yours. -Liars.
蒂娜,进来。b日正在到来。 Tina, come in. B-Day is happening now.
一切都在手机里。 It's all in the phones.
阿姆斯特朗在用一款应用给父母洗脑。 Armstrong is using an app to brainwash the parents.
——喘息。 - Gasp.
我们必须停止表演。 We have to stop the show.
好吧,好吧。嗯,有一个…后台有个老式的大开关。 Okay, okay. Uh, there's a... there's a big old no-touchy switch backstage.
爸爸，我们得拔掉插头。 Daddy, we have to pull the plug.
爸爸,进来。爸爸，爸爸，爸爸，爸爸，爸爸，爸爸，爸爸，爸爸，爸爸。 Daddy, come in. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
啊。他没有回应。 Ugh. He's not responding.
当然不是。 Of course not.
-我自己来。停止! -I'll do it myself. -Stop!
——剧场的孩子。 --Theater kids only.
哦，来吧，耶稣诞生! Oh, come on, nativity!
看起来更神圣的! Look holier!
嘿,塔比瑟。 Hey, Tabitha.
别担心，好吗? Don't you worry, okay?
你会做得很好的。 You're gonna be great.
谢谢,马科斯。谢谢你的帮助。 Thanks, Marcos. And thanks for all your help.
任何时候。 Anytime.
我觉得你真的理解我。 I feel like you really understand me.
我很兴奋。 I'm so excited.
我等不及要看我唱歌时我爸的表情了。 I can't wait to see the look on my dad's face when I sing.
嘿!你在,邓普顿! Hey! You're on, Templeton!
祝我好运吧。 Wish me luck.
祝你好运。 And break a leg.
就这个而言，一两个。 Or two, for that matter.
*我们在一起* * We're in this together *
我们和睦相处……＊ * We live in harmony... *
嘘。 Psst.
蒂姆! Tim!
那是小耶稣吗? Is that the baby Jesus?
(我们必须停止选美比赛。)＊ * We have to shut down the pageant. *
-耶!-什么?不。为什么? -Yeah! -What? No. Why?
阿姆斯特朗要把父母变成僵尸好让他们听他的。 Armstrong's turning the parents into zombies so they'll do whatever he wants.
什么?你在干什么?不! What? What are you doing? No!
塔比瑟在未来。 Tabitha's on next.
你愿意拿全世界的未来冒险就为了看你女儿唱歌?-是的! You'd risk the future of the world -to see your daughter sing? -Yes!
-我必须陪在她身边。-看看是谁担心突然出现在这里。 -I have to be there for her. -Look who's worried about showing up for things all of a sudden.
这是什么意思? What's that supposed to mean?
你都没来参加我的毕业典礼。 You didn't even come to my graduation.
噢!哪一个? Ow! Which one?
商学院，法学院。没有一个人。 Business school, law school. None of them.
你都没来参加我的婚礼。 You didn't even come to my wedding.
这一个吗?-我只有一个! -Which one? -I only had one!
我们说好了的，蒂姆。 We had a deal, Tim.
你答应过我会一直陪着你的。 You promised you'd be there always.
哇。你在哪里……-违反合同! Whoa. Where did you... - Breach of contract!
哇。 Whoa.
-啊!-啊! -Whoa! -Whoa!
你们好吗，伙计们? How do you do there, fellas?
没什么能毁了我的生日。 Nothing's gonna ruin my B-Day.
即使是你。 Not even you.
-哦,麻烦了。-是的，很明显从一开始你们就在一起工作。 -Oh, busted. -Yeah, it was obvious from the very, very beginning that you two were working together.
是什么泄露了我们的秘密? What gave us away?
我会说那些争吵，那些琐碎的争执，还有嫉妒。 Well, I'd say the bickering, the, uh, petty disputes, the jealousy.
你知道吗，你俩在任何方面都是兄弟。 You know, you two are brothers in every single way.
-他们去了盒子。 - Off to the Box they go.
什么?不。没有盒子。不是现在。 What? No. Not the Box. Not now.
请。 Please.
啊,只是……很遗憾，你再也没有机会重新开始你们的关系了，而且…-不!-．．．恢复你们曾经的亲密感。 Aw, it's just... it's too bad that you're never gonna have a chance to reboot your relationship and... -No! -...and restore the closeness that you once felt.
对不起。-不。 -Sorry about that. -No.
-不，不，不。不!再见,马科斯。 -No, no, no, no. No! -Adios, Marcos.
* Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh……* * Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... *
哦,看,看。她就在那儿。 Oh, look, look. There she is.
我们的小天使来了。 There's our little angel.
-哦!斑猫在树上。——啊!哦! -Oh! Tabby's in the tree. -Ah! Oh!
*哦哦，哦哦* * Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh *
* Ooh-ooh-ooh……* * Ooh-ooh-ooh... *
你只有一个任务要做。 You had one job to do.
一项工作。 One job.
-哦,不。——喷泉。 -Oh, no. -The fountain.
房间里都是水。 It's flooding the room.
这不是暂停。 This isn't a time-out.
这是游戏结束。 It's game over.
*奥奥* * Ooh-ooh *
* Ooh-ooh-ooh * * Ooh-ooh-ooh *
嘘。 Psst.
一，二，三，还有一，二，三。 It's one, two, three and one, two, three.
*吸引我的目光* * Catch my eye *
牵着我的手 * Take my hand *
我们之间的关系比我们预想的更紧密 * This bond is tighter than we ever planned *
给我勇气 * Give me courage *
这样我就可以降落了 * So I can land *
我们知道分裂就会灭亡 * We know that divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起 * So together we stand *
和我一起欢笑和哭泣 * Laugh and cry with me *
和我一起飞那么高 * Fly that high with me *
-*看日落和日出* - -*世界在我们眼中看起来如此美好* -哇。 - * See the sunset and the sunrise * - -* The world looks so good through our eyes * -Wow.
就像夜晚的月亮和星星 * Like the moon and stars at night *
你是对的。我搞砸了。 You're right. I blew it.
我毁了这次任务。 I ruined the mission.
我是个糟糕的父亲。 And I'm a terrible father.
你确实破坏了这次任务。 Hey, you did sort of ruin the mission.
但你是个好爸爸。 But you're a great dad.
不,我不是。 No, I'm not.
我永远做不到你的工作。 I could never do your job.
我是说，你日以继夜地工作，想辞职都不能，而且你连工资都拿不到。 I mean, you work around the clock, you can't even quit if you wanted to, and you don't even get paid.
坦白说，我不明白这怎么合法。 Frankly, I don't see how that's legal.
我一直很嫉妒你。 I was always jealous of you.
我也想成功，你知道的。 I wanted to be successful, too, you know.
当然,蒂姆。 Sure, Tim.
我赚了很多钱……但你组建了一个家庭。 I made a lot of money... but you made a family.
真相是……高处不胜寒。 The truth is... it's lonely at the top.
*靠近我* * Reach with me *
*看天空* * See the sky *
你的余生，我都会在你身边 * I'll always be here for the rest of your life *
*航行海洋* * Sail that ocean *
*找到沙子* * Find that sand *
我们知道分裂就会灭亡 * We know that divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起 * So together we stand *
你知道,我……我很遗憾我们再也不见面了。 You know, I'm... I'm sorry we don't see each other anymore.
一个非常聪明的人曾经告诉我，仅仅因为你长大了，并不意味着你必须分开。 A very wise person once told me, just because you grow up doesn't mean you have to grow apart.
这是蒂娜吗?-哦,是的。 -Was it Tina? -Oh, yeah.
她真是太聪明了。 Oh, it is crazy how smart she is.
就好像她能看穿你的灵魂。 It's like she looks right into your soul.
很抱歉我错过了你们的毕业典礼。 I'm sorry that I missed your graduations.
很抱歉我错过了你的婚礼。 I'm sorry I missed your one wedding.
很抱歉我没能陪在你身边。 I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.
肩并肩 * Side by side *
手牵手 * Hand in hand *
我们说的是一种别人无法理解的语言 * We speak a language no one else can understand *
- *听到那些欢呼声* - * Hear those cheers *
乐队开始演奏 * Strike up the band *
我们知道分裂就会灭亡 * We know that divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起。＊ * So together we stand. *
哦,塔比瑟。 Oh, Tabitha.
外公吗? Gramps?
娜娜吗?妈妈? Nana? Mom?
哦,不! Oh, no!
哦，天哪，塔比瑟。 --Oh, my gosh, Tabitha.
你做得很好。 You did such a great job.
你们真是太没礼貌了。 Well, that's just horribly rude of you all.
大家都来吧。 Come on, everybody.
大家起立鼓掌怎么样? Uh, how about a standing ovation?
——非常好。 - Very good.
他们是僵尸! They're zombies!
我们做到了! We did it!
-婴儿革命已经开始。 - The baby revolution has begun.
不再需要服装了。 No more need for costumes.
谁想要蛋糕吗? Who wants cake?
哦,我的天啊。 Oh, my gosh.
生日快乐,每一个人。 Happy B-Day, everybody.
爸爸,泰德叔叔。 Daddy, Uncle Ted.
进来。你在哪里? Come in. Where are you?
给你，姐姐。 Here you go, sis.
我已经用过这个了，所以我知道它是安全的。 Now, I already used this, so I know it's safe.
谢谢。 Thanks.
等等。你在说话吗? Wait. Are you t-talking?
我知道。这很奇怪，不是吗? I know. It's pretty weird, isn't it?
天啊，你说话了! Oh, my gosh, you're talking!
这是一个紧急情况。 It's an emergency.
我在执行婴儿公司的超级秘密任务。 I'm on a supersecret mission from BabyCorp.
你是说爸爸的故事是真的? You mean Dad's stories are true?
诉讼是这么说的。 That's what the suit says.
我看起来怎么样? How do I look?
没门! No way!
我现在联系不上爸爸和泰德叔叔，所以我需要你的帮助，大姐。 Now, I can't get ahold of Dad or Uncle Ted, so I need your help, big sis.
等等，等等。爸爸来了? Wait, wait. Dad's here?
他们一直都在这里。 They've been here the whole time.
(在吗?-我没有太多时间解释，但阿姆斯特朗博士还是个婴儿。 -Where? -I don't have much time to explain, but Dr. Armstrong is a baby.
一个非常非常坏的孩子。 A very bad, bad baby.
很快，世界就会成为我们的游乐场。 Soon, the world is gonna be our playground.
——啊!-现在我们可以让父母做任何我们想做的事。 - Whee! - Now we can make parents do whatever we want.
太棒了!是啊! Awesome! Yeah!
没有更多的规则。 No more rules.
再见，妈妈和爸爸。 Sayonara, Mama and Papa.
是的。 Yeah.
-妈妈吗?-爸爸吗? -Mom? -Dad?
爷爷? Grandpa?
哇。你在开玩笑吗? Whoa. Are you kidding me?
我们得在它扩散到全球之前把它关闭。 We need to shut it down before it goes global.
-是的。-我们该怎么办? - Yeah. - What are we gonna do?
好吧，我们得找到控制父母手机的那个叫什么来着的家伙。 Okay, we need to find the big whatchamacallit that controls the parents' phones.
——服务器。-是的。是的。 -The server. -Yes. Yes.
学校里有那种大的东西吗? Is there a big one of those whatsits at school?
嗯,让我们看看。 Uh, let's see.
服务器非常热，所以你需要通风道。 Well, servers get really hot, so you need air ducts.
现在你的想法! Now you're thinking!
在橡子上相交! Which intersect at the acorn!
A+-来吧。 -A-plus! -Come on.
——这里。 - This way.
机会敲门。 Opportunity knocks.
首先，我们得去个短暂停留。 First, we need to make a quick pit stop.
你的时间已经结束了。 Your time has concluded.
——蒂姆，看起来就是这个了。 --It looks like this is it, Tim.
至少我们还有最后的宝贵时光在一起。 Well, hey, at least we have these last final precious moments together.
宝贝。宝贝! Precious. Precious!
-哦，对了。宝贝。宝贝! - Oh, right. Precious. Precious!
这是我的女孩。 That's my girl.
谢谢你！ Thank you.
蒂娜? Tina?
蒂娜，蒂娜，进来。这是爸爸。 Tina, Tina, come in. It's Daddy.
爸爸!听着，我们得关闭服务器。 Daddy! Listen, we have to shut down the server.
-在橡子里。-啊。 -It's in the acorn. -Whoa.
这太奇怪了。 This is so weird.
我要做副驾驶座。 I call shotgun.
快，到橡子那儿去! Quick, to the acorn!
Hyah ! Hyah!
Yeehaw ! Yeehaw!
抓紧你的人，伙计。 Hold on to your chaps, pal.
——哇! --Whoa!
——哦,不! --Oh, no!
胶水! Glue!
是的!仙尘!啊哈。 Yah! Pixie dust! Aha.
——是的,宝贝。-是的。 - Yeah, baby. -Yes.
哇……? Wha...?
我去哪里来的? Where'd I go?
-啊!-我喜欢你的睡衣。 -Whoa! -I like your pajamas.
你要去哪里? Where are you going?
——Hyah ! - Hyah!
——胶水。-我很骄傲我是黄色的。 - Glue. - I'm proud to be a yellow.
我喜欢你的小马。 I like your pony.
谢谢你！ Thank you.
——什么? - What?
啊,啊,啊。不,不,不。 Ah, ah, ah. No, no, no.
现在让我们打开这个大坚果。 Now let's crack that big nut.
哦,不。它即将走向世界。 Oh, no. It's about to go worldwide.
我们要怎么上去? How are we gonna get up there?
——真的吗?-嗯，你有勇气。 - Really? - Well, you got grit.
我承认。 I'll give you that.
进取心,甚至。非常令人钦佩。 Gumption, even. Very admirable.
但是，呃，很烦人。 And yet, uh, annoying.
很烦人。是的。 Quite annoying. Yeah.
我得，你知道，呃，阻止你。 I'm gonna have to, you know, uh, stop you.
粘住我，粘住我，粘住我。 Glue me, glue me, glue me.
宝贵的,原文如此。 Precious, sic him.
你太小，也太迟了。 You're too little and too late.
——啊,ba-bad狗。 --Ah, ba-bad dog.
-学校不允许养宠物。啊!宝贵的! -Pets aren't allowed in school. -Aah! Precious!
还有你，我的小矮子protégé。 And you, my pudgy protégé.
快，快，快，快!动!动! Go, go, go, go! Move! Move!
-我给了你全世界。 - I offered you the world.
-我们本可以成为搭档的 - We could have been partners.
我有比搭档更好的东西。 I've got something better than a partner.
我有一个哥哥。-耶! -I have a brother. -Yeah!
——放手。-不，你放手。 - Let go. - No, you let go.
哇。点。 Wow. Point taken.
什么?这是怎么呢 What? What's going on?
嘿，那是我的休闲套装。 Hey, that's my leisure suit.
她穿起来更好看。 It looks better on her.
举起手来，放下尿布。 Hands up, diapers down.
事情要变得奇怪了。 Things are about to get weird.
-是啊，那是我的女儿们! - Yeah, that's my girls!
——真的是爸爸?是的。 -That's really Dad? -Yep.
我跟那孩子说了很多话。 I said a lot of stuff to that kid.
真是一次家庭聚会。 Well, quite the family reunion.
人越多越好。 Uh, the more the merrier.
-我们给你父母打电话吧。-哦,不。 - I say let's call your parents. - Oh, no.
啊哦。-好的。 -Uh-oh. -Okay.
妈妈和爸爸，我们拥抱他们——拥抱到死。 Mommy and Daddy, let's hug 'em-- to death.
别担心我们。进入服务器。 Oh, don't worry about us. Get to the server.
-加油，蒂娜，加油! - Go, Tina, go!
-嘿!-你可以的，蒂娜。 -Hey! -You got this, Tina.
从那里下来。 Get down from there.
去拿他的棒棒糖! Go for his lollies!
别碰别人的小马。 Never touch another man's pony.
在这里。留下来。留下来。 Here. Stick around. Stick around.
小炯，我们现在该怎么办! Uh, Tim, what do we do now?!
不要动。也许他们看不到我们。 Don't move. Maybe they won't see us.
他们看到我们了，蒂姆。他们看到我们。 They see us, Tim. They see us.
你行动了吗?我没有移动。 Did you move? I didn't move.
真的,蒂姆? Really, Tim?
哦。嘿，现在有点太高了。 Oh. Hey, that's a little too high now.
不要往下看。看着前方，好吗? Don't look down. Look straight ahead, okay?
——这是锁着的。 --It's locked.
我能帮你吗? Can I give you a hand?
当然，我的意思是开玩笑，因为这只手的作用是……作为一个关键。 Of course, I mean that facetiously, because the hand acts as a... as a key.
不,不。不,不,不。 No, no. No, no, no.
-嘿,嘿。不，不，不。-谢谢,姐姐。 -Hey, hey. No, no, no, no. -Thanks, sis.
离我的服务员远点。 Stay away from my server.
-关掉它，塔比瑟。-你在干什么? -Shut it down, Tabitha. -What are you doing?
你在干什么?不,不,不!不! What are you doing? No, no, no! No!
不要这样做。 Don't do that.
——哦,天哪! - Oh, no!
拥抱。拥抱爷爷。 -Hugs. -Hug Grandpa.
这是婴儿潮一代的夜晚。 It's Night of the Living Boomers.
——爸爸,停!- - - - - -拥抱。 - Dad, stop! - Hugs.
——回来。-退后，你们这些小怪物。 - Back. - Back, you little monsters.
-你给我退后，小甜心。 - You back off, candy pants.
哈!你的鼻子。 Ha! Got your nose.
哦，就在面包筐里! Oh, right in the breadbasket!
…噢!哈! -Ow! -Ha!
-把他的街区打飞了。——啊,猫粪。 -Knocked his block off. -Ah, poopy.
蒂娜，我想我知道了。是的! Tina, I think I got it. Yes!
不要按那个按钮。不要按那个按钮。啊! Don't hit that button. Don't hit that button. Aah!
噢!噢! Ow! Ooh!
- - -…进入。——不,不!停止它! - And... enter. - No, no! Stop it!
——停止。 --Cut it out.
-看看你让我做了什么。-火警。 - Look what you made me do. - The fire alarm.
——真讨厌。——爸爸! - Darn it. - Dad!
泰德叔叔!拉火警! Uncle Ted! Pull the fire alarm!
-姑娘们需要帮助。——没有想吻你! - The girls need help. - No kissies!
姑娘们需要我们。 The girls need us.
——时间到了,半身人。 --Time's up, halflings.
伟大的飞奔的怪兽! Great galloping gargoyles!
——什么?什么? - What? What?
蒂姆!快去看火警报警器! Tim! Get to the fire alarm!
我会拖住他们。 I'll hold them back.
下雨吧，宝贝。 Make it rain, baby.
我会的。 I'm on it.
有什么事吗? What's the matter?
你应付不了尴尬阶段? You can't handle the awkward phase?
去,马科斯……哦,爸爸。走吧! Go, Marcos... uh, Dad. Go!
——我回来了! --I'm back!
-我们开始吧-来吧。 -Here we go. -Come on.
再来一轮怎么样，硬汉?来吧! How about another round, you tough guy? Come on!
噢。阻止它。 Ow. Stop it.
我还留着这些。 I still got these.
你把我妹妹放下来了。 You put my sister down.
无论你喜不喜欢，生日总会到来的。 B-Day will happen, whether you like it or not.
-你不能通过! - You shall not pass!
你不能通过。 Uh, you shall not pass.
不!停止流逝。 No! Stop passing.
是的,爸爸! Yeah, Dad!
路要走! Way to go!
就这些吗? That's it?
这是正确的。为什么?什么?学校的贵。 That's right. Why? What? The school's expensive.
-我不得不削减开支。 - I had to cut costs someplace.
哦,不。这不是工作。 Oh, no. It's not working.
你拉对了吗? Did you pull it right?
你还能怎么做? How else you gonna pull it?
你会发现我是对的。 You'll see I'm right.
我会告诉每一个人。 I'll show everybody.
父母的时代已经过去了。 The age of parents is over.
耶,耶,耶。 Yay, yay, yay.
你看我祝酒怎么样? How about you watch me have a little toast?
敬婴儿革命和我自己。 To the baby revolution and to me.
-该看糖果火山了…-嗯,嗯。 -It's time for the candy volcano... -Mmm, mmm.
-哦，那很好。——世界末日的! - Oh, that's good. - Of doom!
你在干什么?你在干什么? What are you doing? What are you doing?
不,不,不!不! No, no, no! No!
哦，不，不，不，不，不，不。 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-不,不,不。Boom shakalaka? -No, no, no. -Boom shakalaka?
Boom!不要那样做! -Boom! -Don't do that!
——哇! - Whoa!
——哦,天哪! - Oh, no!
——塔比瑟! - Tabitha!
不!谁来帮帮我，拜托! No! Someone help me, please!
塔比瑟,稍等! Tabitha, hang on!
泰德，我现在就需要。 Ted, I need upsies-- now.
爸爸,救救我! Dad, help me!
看看你。 Look at you.
你聪明。你强。 You're smart. You're strong.
你不需要父母。 You don't need parents.
他们能给你带来什么? What can they possibly offer you?
-无条件的爱怎么样? - How about unconditional love?
这就是。-不,不,不。不。 -That's what. -No, no, no. No.
——再见。-不不不不。 - Sayonara. - No, no, no. No.
塔比瑟! Tabitha!
-我要下降!塔比瑟! -I'm gonna fall! -Tabitha!
挂在! Hang on!
我得到了你。我得到了你。 I got you. I got you.
我知道了，塔比瑟。 I got you, Tabitha.
我得到了你。 I got you.
那是我哥哥。 That's my big brother.
谢谢,马科斯光速。 Thanks, Marcos Lightspeed.
Mwah。 Mwah.
我以为我们都得长大。 I thought we both had to grow up.
好吧，我们不要长大得太快。 Well, let's not grow up too fast.
我爱您，爸爸。 I love you, Dad.
我爱你，塔比瑟·坦普尔顿。 I love you, Tabitha Templeton.
哦。你看到了吗? Aw. You see that?
而你想把这一切都夺走。 And you wanted to take it all away.
那你要去哪里?分离聚合。 -Where you going? -Home.
你知道吗，医生，童年不会永远存在，但家庭却可以。 You know, Doc, childhood doesn't last forever, but family sure does.
泰德叔叔!小心! Uncle Ted! Heads up!
——啊! --Woo-hoo!
我们赢了!准备订些披萨吧。 We win! Get ready to order some pizzas.
啊! Woo-hoo!
——很酷! --Cool!
万岁! Huzzah!
哦,甜蜜的。 Oh, sweet.
找到的，谨守。 He who findeth keepeth.
妈妈，爸爸，我好想你。 Mommy, Daddy, I missed you so much.
噢,噢,噢。耶! Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yay!
初级! Junior!
——胶! - Glue!
所以软。 So soft.
我们要去哪里? Where are we going?
不坏,邓普顿。 Not bad, Templetons.
啊!耶,邓普顿。 Woo-hoo! Yay, Templetons.
是的,任务完成。 Yeah, mission accomplished.
作为奖励，我们也阻止了阿姆斯特朗。 And as a bonus, we stopped Armstrong, too.
嗯?-什么? -Huh? -What?
我真正的任务是让你们复合。 My real mission was getting you two back together.
- + !课后见我。 - A-plus! See me after class.
等等，所以你从来没戒过? Wait, so you never actually quit?
不。嗯。 -Nope. -Huh.
好了。 Well played.
我不喜欢把这两者混在一起，但我想说这从来都不是生意。 I don't like to mix the two, but I will say it was never business.
这都是私人恩怨。 It was always personal.
你知道吗，孩子? You know what, kid?
你是我遇到过的最好的老板。 You're the best boss I ever had.
-谢谢你，头儿。 - Thank you, chief.
蒂姆!你真的做到了。 Tim! You actually made it.
-是的。-我就知道你会来的。 -Yeah. -I mean, I knew you'd make it.
泰迪。泰迪,你在这里。 -Teddy. -Teddy, you're here.
-看看你穿的是什么。-嗯……亲爱的,我哭了。 -And look what you're wearing. -Uh... Sweetheart, I cried.
然后我的大脑一片空白。 Then I went blank.
哦,来吧。Every-Everyone聚在一起。 Oh, come on. Every-Everyone get together.
这个…我们得搞定这个。我们开始吧。 This... We got to get this. Here we go.
-爸爸,不!-不!-什么? -Dad, no! -No! -What?
我们知道 * We know that *
分裂就会灭亡 * Divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起 * So together we stand *
我们知道分裂就会灭亡 * We know that divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起。＊ * So together we stand. *
耶,塔比瑟!这是美丽的! -Yay, Tabitha! -That was beautiful!
-观众都疯了! - The crowd goes wild!
谢谢你！谢谢你！ Thank you. Thank you.
——啊! --Aah!
哦,嘿,宝贝。 Aw, hey, Precious.
你真了不起。 You're amazing.
真希望泰迪能在这。 Oh, I wish Teddy could have been here.
是的,我知道。我也是。 Yeah, I know. Me, too.
——嗯。 - Hmm.
嘿，我只是… Hey, I was just...
圣诞快乐,蒂姆。 Merry Christmas, Tim.
很抱歉我不能陪在你身边，但请好好享受这份过分奢华的礼物吧。 I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you, but please enjoy this inappropriately lavish gift instead.
你给了我最好的礼物。 You've given me the greatest gift of all.
——你。 - You.
爱，世界上最好的兄弟。 Love, the best brother in the world.
注:鸭子。 P.S. Duck.
当着你的面，莱斯利! In your face, Leslie!
嘿。哦，开始了，琳赛! Hey. Oh, it is on, Lindsey!
-不。不，不，不。不要,不要,不要。-来这里! -No. No, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't. -Come here!
我比你年轻。 I'm younger than you.
你才是更大的目标。 You're a bigger target.
-我打得太好了! - I got you so good!
-不，你没有 - No, you didn't.
啊!你错过了我! Aah! You missed me!
你和我想的一样吗? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
伏击。确实不错。 -Ambush. -Exactly.
——噢!——偷袭! - Ow! - Sneak attack!
看到他们又吵架了真是太好了? Oh, isn't it great to see them fighting again?
最后。 Finally.
你不接电话吗? Shouldn't you pick up?
不，我们有家事要办。 Nah, we got some family business.
啊!是啊! Woo-hoo! Yeah!
蒂娜，我们有另一个任务给你。 Tina, we have another assignment for you.
我在听。 I'm listening.
奶奶热着回来了! Grandma's coming in hot!
你要来点吗，爷爷?-所有人，去找塔格隆·泰迪! -You want some of Grandpa? -Everyone, get Tagalong Teddy!
——这是真的。——问题! - It's true. - Gotcha!
你不能停止时间。 You can't stop time.
但每隔一段时间，你就会有第二次机会。 But every once in a while, you get a second chance.
-我会抓到你的! - I'm gonna get you!
所以，即使你只是一个孩子…除非你做两次小孩，老实说，这很奇怪，但重点是你总得长大。 So, even though you're only a kid once... well, unless you get to be a kid twice, which is really weird, to be honest, but the point is you have to grow up sometime.
你应该一直对你弟弟好。 And you should always be nice to your brother.
你真贴心，爸爸。 Ah, that was really sweet, Daddy.
这对我的报告很有帮助。 That'll be great for my report.
好吧,所以…就是这样。 Okay, so... so that's it, then.
其实，还有一件小事。 Well, actually, there's one more little thing.
妈妈?爸爸? Mama? Papa?
哇……-哦，我的儿子。 Wha... - Oh, my son.
你回家。 You came home.
哦,是的。正确的。 Oh, yeah. Right.
好的,老爸。现在。 Okay, Pops. Now.
最后。 The end.
*吸引我的目光* * Catch my eye *
牵着我的手 * Take my hand *
我们之间的关系比我们预想的更紧密 * This bond is tighter than we ever planned *
给我勇气 * Give me courage *
这样我就可以降落了 * So I can land *
我们知道分裂就会灭亡 * We know that divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起 * So together we stand *
*和我一起爬 * Climb with me *
分享我的梦想 * Share my dreams *
明天更美好 * Tomorrow's brighter *
比以往任何时候都要多 * Than it's ever been *
*不要害怕危险* * Fear no danger *
制定大计划 * Make big plans *
我们知道分裂就会灭亡 * We know that divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起 * So together we stand *
和我一起欢笑和哭泣 * Laugh and cry with me *
和我一起飞那么高 * Fly that high with me *
*看日落和日出* * See the sunset and the sunrise *
在我们眼中，世界看起来如此美好 * The world looks so good through our eyes *
就像月亮一样 * Like the moon *
*还有夜晚的星星 * And stars at night *
*让你的头休息* * Rest your head *
告诉我你的想法 * Tell me your thoughts *
我拥有的一切都是我的 * Everything I have and call mine *
都是你的了 * Is all yours *
*航行海洋* * Sail that ocean *
*找到沙子* * Find that sand *
我们知道分裂就会灭亡 * We know that divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起 * So together we stand *
*靠近我* * Reach with me *
*看天空* * See the sky *
你的余生，我都会在你身边 * I'll always be here for the rest of your life *
肩并肩 * Side by side *
手牵手 * Hand in hand *
我们说的是一种别人无法理解的语言 * We speak a language no one else can understand *
*听到那些欢呼声* * Hear those cheers *
乐队开始演奏 * Strike up the band *
我们知道分裂就会灭亡 * We know that divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起 * So together we stand *
我们知道 * We know that *
分裂就会灭亡 * Divided we'll fall *
所以我们站在一起。＊ * So together we stand. *